Recommended Reading #99: Entertainment, Pt. II
“Gagging Order ” by Ashley Lister (Non-sex-realated, Writing, Language, Humor) 4/28/12
I’ve often found Ashley Lister not only brilliant but also brilliantly witty. This post served as a slice of entertainment for me the day I read it, so I’m passing it along. :) (Note: I also found the comments rather amusing.)
“MONKEYBOARD BUSINESS, a Story” by EllaRegina (Erotic fiction, Humor) 1/20/09
I find this superbly clever. It not only makes me laugh out loud but also so impresses me with its originality and simple delightfulness!
“Chewing Gum on the Heel of the American Dream pt II: It’s Not What You Say” at PostHumorous (Non-sex-related, Humor) 5/10/12
This post is part 2 of a series (with part 1 being found here…while the content at the end of part 1 is far blunter than would even have occurred to me, there is a point in there I appreciate). I laughed out loud multiple times upon reading it, which to me constitutes entertainment. ;)
Open, Fearless, and Needed: Best Sex Writing 2012
That an anthology series called Best Sex Writing exists thrills me. Truly. There are few topics I feel the human species would benefit more from exploring, questioning, and opening to. The fact that those things all seem particularly lacking makes me even more excited to see a book—in this case, Best Sex Writing 2012, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and published by Cleis Press—devoted to inviting and displaying them in a multi-authored tapestry.
Between the pages of Best Sex Writing 2012 is rumination, information, and investigation of a society displaying, as I see it, a severe misguidedness around the book’s title subject. The fascinating exposition of “Sex, Lies, and Hush Money” by Katherine Spillar outlines for us (just in case anyone has forgotten) the corruption and hypocrisy that is alive and well in our political systems—largely resulting from, I would argue, our continued repression, distortion, and shame around sex.
I found Radley Balko’s “You Can Have Sex with Them; Just Don’t Photograph Them” painful to read (which is not a negative comment—it was one of the pieces I appreciated most in the book); my sense of wanting to do something to help put a stop to the literal insanity it described was activated from its first page. The seemingly small but important victory of seeing it recognized and reported on assuaged my distress a tiny bit. The suspense in the powerful, heartbreaking “An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career” by Tim Elhajj was breathtaking to me, as was the reminder that “being [accused of being] a homosexual” in the United States military could be the basis of such suspense.
In “The Careless Language of Sexual Violence,” Roxanne Gay offers a profound elucidation I found so extraordinary I don’t know how to even sum it up here. It struck me deeply as something that needed to be said, and I’m grateful to Ms. Gay for saying it.
I had already read (and recommended here) Thomas Roche‘s “Men Who ‘Buy Sex’ Commit More Crimes: Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies.” As I said then, I found it incisive, comprehensive, and illuminating of the issues the piece was about and responding to. (A one-sentence case in point: “Trafficking continues because of corruption and poverty, not because there are no laws against it.”)
There are also what Rachel describes in her introduction as “more personal takes on sex [...] that aren’t about making a point so much as exploring what real-life sex is like in all its beauty, drama, and messiness.” To me, three of the most moving of this kind of piece were Joan Price‘s “Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift,” a striking slice of memoir interwoven with, as the title suggests, experiences of grief, vitality, love, and the beauty of connection—including with ourselves; Hugo Schwyzer‘s raw, insightful (and indeed rather hot in parts) “I Want You to Want Me,” which, while very personal, lays out a commentary on gender socialization I much appreciated; and “Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture” by Abby Taller, which relays a compelling, poignant portrait of a time and place that is no longer.
All three of these pieces compelled me in a different way, enlisting empathy and softheartedness as they opened a part of themselves onto the page and paradoxically shone a light on universal levels of sexual—and human—experience.
The combination of this kind of personal memoir alongside the investigative exposition, irreverent humor, and incisive commentary also found in this book makes for a vastly varied volume of entertainment and thought provocation. The few things in the anthology that didn’t resonate with me did not decrease my overall appreciation of it; I indeed encountered perspectives that diverged from mine, and I see that as one of the values of a book like this. Certainly I was engaged and even energized by the eloquent, captivating articulations of perspectives in alignment with mine—but those that weren’t invited me to discern and articulate why, an opportunity which is not lost on me.
Ultimately, this book exemplifies something it seems to me we could use a lot more of: open, fearless discussion of sexuality in which we talk about it like we do so many other topics—with consideration, enthusiasm, respect, curiosity, interest, reverence, scrutiny, and maturity…rather than the degrees of pubescence and oppression I have found so woefully pervasive in our culture. Rachel asserts in her introduction that “the more we talk about the many ways sex moves us, the more we work toward a world where sexual shame, ignorance, homophobia, and violence are diminished.” I couldn’t agree more, and I thank the the editor, contributors, and publisher of Best Sex Writing 2012 for offering their time and attention to doing so.
Love,
Emerald
“Did you read the news today, they say the danger’s gone away, but I can see the fire’s still alight, burning into the night…this is the world we live in, and these are the names we’re given, stand up and let’s start showing just where our lives are going to…”
-Disturbed “Land of Confusion”
Recommended Reading #98: Pleasure
“Why Downgrading Sex-Positive Left Activism Is Even Worse For Sex Worker Rights Activism: My Response to Audacia Ray” by Anthony Kennerson (Sex Work, Sociology) 3/31/12
It feels, frankly, difficult for me to acknowledge that I experience almost entire agreement with this post—mainly because it comprises a rather critical response to a post by Audacia Ray that tied in to the session she presented at the MOMENTUM conference, which I attended (not just the conference but the actual session, I mean). I too state straightforwardly that I have long admired Audacia’s work, and I feel/felt a bit shocked to read something she wrote and not feel agreement with it…but, admittedly, when I read Audacia’s piece (which again is a written articulation of the gist of her MOMENTUM presentation) to which this post is responding, I experienced approximately what I interpret as expressed in this post. (Though I did not ever feel anger at Audacia; I simply felt confusion and disagreement, in that my interpretations of a lot of what she was saying was not particularly resonating with me, and I have such a high opinion of what I have seen of her work that that made me wonder what I was missing. Perhaps I was/am indeed missing something and will realize it at some point. This recommendation simply represents how I see it at this time.) I do find the idea of appreciating or expressing one’s enjoyment of or free choice to engage in sex work being at odds with supporting others’ experiences in sex work that do not involve enjoyment (at least as much) or choice troublesome…and to me, they do not seem mutually exclusive at all. Perhaps I misread or misinterpreted what Audacia was saying. But I felt considerable resonance with this post in response, as much of what I interpret it as expressing occurred to me as well.
“Does Masturbation Need A Reason?” by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Health and Body, Sexual Exploration) 5/4/12
I appreciate Charlie’s highlighting of masturbation as lovely and potentially beneficial beyond certain (also lovely and relevant!) health considerations. Of course, I like best his last line about it really not needing a reason/excuse at all. :)
“The Wisdom of the Womb” by Veronica Monet (Health and Body, Sex and Culture, Sex and Spirituality) 9/20/11
I found this a fascinating exposition about a part of the physical female body and its connection to pleasure, creativity, and other considerations.
Like a Fairy Tale!
I am so very excited to announce the release of Kristina Wright‘s second erotic fairy tale anthology, Lustfully Ever After: Fairy Tale Erotic Romance! First, I adore Kristina, so I’m thrilled to be in another anthology that she edited. And secondly, way back when I wrote my story in the collection, “The Beast Within,” I felt some trepidation about doing so. I had never tried fairy tale-related writing, and I wasn’t sure I would know how to “rewrite” one. The idea seemed foreign to me.
Once I chose the fairy tale I would address and the idea formed and I started working on it, however, I found that I enjoyed the project immensely—far more than I thought I would. The story seemed to come together far more than I ever expected, too. I was surprised to find that I appreciated working within the “structure,” if you will, of a story that already existed and certain language and narrative expectations related to fairy tales (as I perceive them anyway). Very much fun, and not something I feel like I’ve done much before. I appreciate Kristina’s putting together this anthology, as without it I almost certainly would not have conceived to write “The Beast Within” on my own! ;)
Lustfully Ever After is in stock now at its publisher Cleis Press as well as on Amazon (and Kindle) and at Barnes and Noble. Here is its elation-inducing table of contents:
Lustfully Ever After Foreword by Sylvia Day
Introduction: They Lived Happily Ever AfterRosa Redford Anya Richards
Gretel’s Lament Jeanette Grey
Matches Anna Meadows
The Beast Within Emerald (Me!)
Wolf Moon Michelle Augello-Page
Mirror Mirror Shanna Germain
The Last Dance Kristina Lloyd
Name A.D.R. Forte
Sensitive Artist Donna George Storey
You Charlotte Stein
Kit in Boots Sacchi Green
The Long Night of Tanya McCray Michael M. Jones
Shorn Lisabet Sarai
Real Boy Evan Mora
Garden Variety Lynn Townsend
Steadfast Andrea Dale
A Sea Change Kristina Wright
So excited! Can hardly wait to read everybody else’s fairy tale stories!
Love,
Emerald
“What makes him so not nice?” Julie asked her father.
Her father shook his head. “I don’t know.” His face crinkled into a smile. “That’s what they pay us to find out.”
-from “The Beast Within“
Flash Fiction Frenzy!
But, because (sincerely—I am not just saying this!) the creativity and fearlessness of the participants as well as how welcoming I’ve found Siobhan inspired me, when I found myself with an idea upon reading this week’s prompt, I followed through and wrote something. Then posted it. I think this is the first time I’ve done something of that nature online, and I thank Siobhan for being a lovely host and all the participants alongside me this week for offering their extraordinary work for all to see.
Siobhan herself acted as judge this week, and I am honored (and blushing) that she awarded my entry, “Give,” an honorable mention. All the entries may be read here, and I do recommend doing so. Siobhan announces the winners here.
Many thanks to Siobhan and all the lovely writers I have had the delight to become (virtually) acquainted with over the last week. Funny the opportunities joining Twitter can seem to open up! ;)
Love,
Emerald
-from “Give”
Recommended Reading #97: Questions and Examination, Pt. IV
“Sex Through the Years: The Fascinating Ways Desire Changes Through a Lifetime” by Liz Langley (Sexual Orientation, Health and Body, Sex and Culture, Sexuality Education) 4/10/12
The general perspective of this piece, as I interpret it, seems well-considered by a culture that seems to cluelessly assign labels and identities (including to ourselves). I like as well the offering of considering changes in our experience of sexuality from the angle of opportunity rather than simply what we perceive to be undesirable.
“Girls who buy sex from beach boys: Sex tourism in Bali” by Laura Agustin (Sex Work, Sociology, Sex and Culture, Gender Socialization) 5/2/12
I share Laura’s perspective(s) of both the absurdity of finding anything surprising about this kind of story as well as her outline of the myths and stereotypes at play. I appreciate her articulation of such.
“A Marriage Ruined by Monogamy” by Pamela Haag (Non-monogamy, Relationship, Sex and Culture, Parenting) 4/25/12
I simply adore this piece and feel it articulates beautifully the precise way I see the subject in question. (I’d also like to say this is one of my favorite lines I’ve read in a while: “The success of self-improvement as a publishing genre rather proves its weakness as a remedy.”)
Recommended Reading #96: Abortion, Pt.II
“Repairing the Damage, Before Roe” by Waldo L. Fielding, M.D. (Politics, U.S. Public Policy, Health and Body, Memoir) 6/3/08
I found this a tough piece to read, and it may be difficult for those with a timid stomach. The takeaway from it I profoundly appreciate is the recognition that abortions will invariably be sought, and 1) if some don’t understand the reasons for that, it’s probably because the reasons are none of their business and do not need to be vetted through them, and 2) criminalizing or impeding abortion access simply puts women in danger. See 1.
“The Ultrasound and the Fury” by That Toy Chick (Reproductive Rights, Memoir, U.S. Public Policy) 2/29/12
I found this also a difficult piece to read. The piece is offered, as I interpret it, to contextualize recent abhorrent legislation forcing women seeking abortions to undergo transvaginal ultrasounds. (Beyond that, of course, this is a strikingly poignant and painful memoir piece—I do not mean to give the impression it is simply political.)
“Rick Santorum Aborts Presidential Campaign” on Live Funny! or Die [AUTOPLAY] (Recommended Watch, Politics, Humor) Undated
I find this very nicely done. As funny as it may seem, there are (to me) obvious serious undertones that I feel are expressed straightforwardly and respectfully. I much appreciate its production.
Recommended Reading #95: Humanity and Inspiration, Pt. IV
“Top 20 Hard-Knock Life Lessons from Orgasmic Meditation” by Candice Holdorf (Sex and Spirituality, Self-Awareness, Memoir) 4/14/12
This is really one of my favorite things I’ve read in a while. The entire tone strikes me as one of acceptance, self-awareness, Presence, and gratitude. I feel a resonance with all of it and an almost uncanny personal relating to some of it. I deeply appreciate the author’s writing and sharing this.
“An Invocation for Beginnings” by zefrank [AUTOPLAY] (Recommended Watch, Non-sex-related, Philosophy, Creativity, Psychology) 4/9/12
To me, there seem some lovely messages here that strike me as offered with love, sincerity, and awareness.
“‘Alive Inside’: Documentary Explores Music’s Effect On The Elderly” (Non-sex-related, Recommended Watch, Health and Body) 4/10/12
This seems to me to speak entirely for itself.
