Archive for April, 2011
[Note: The following is the full text (and photograph) of digest #25 of e[lust], organized by Dangerous Lilly and in which I am included for the first time with my post about the recent MOMENTUM conference! Love, Emerald]
Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether youíre looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, youíre going to find it here. And in this edition you can read all about the best sexuality conference of the year (ever?), Momentum, in a one-time-only Editor’s Choice anomaly: I couldn’t choose just one, so I chose them all! Want to be included in e[lust] #26? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!
~ This Weekís Top Three Posts ~
Where We Are – It was only supposed to be about the fucking. I don’t know how I convinced myself that it could be. I fretted before we began, about how I could ever possibly separate sex from emotion.
The Edible Slut – His hand made an audible crack as it connected with her ass, loud in the dim bedroom. Did he really sink his hand into her hair, turn her head to face him, and shout, ìStop being such a brat!î
Beyond Bisexual – I donít identify as bisexual, because I am interested in so many more people than just two of the variety of sexes or genders out there. Except, that is a word that a lot of people understand.
~ Featured: Momentum Conference Posts (Lillyís Picks) ~
~ e[lust] Editress ~
To Be or Not To Be….Anonymous, That Is – If youíre out or decide to be outÖ.youíre not just outing yourself. Youíre outing them all. And did they give their consent? Probably not, Iíd guess. And even if they did give their consent could they even have a clue what consequences there will be?
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
A Bump In The Road – A Swinger Party Goes Bad
Bridging the Gap (Between Swinging and BDSM)
Jane Says: What Does Sex Feel Like For A Man?
Let’s talk about food
S&M And Abuse
The Rules, Revisited
The Wet Patch
Who Cares About Your Open Relationship
Where There’s Smoke…
Kink & Fetish
BDSM Advice: Nipple Clamps
Communicating by touch
He mixed pleasure and pain, and my body responded to it all
Topping From the Bottom: An Ode
You Can Make It Feel So Real
Definition of Inspiration
My Sex Life: The Journey Continues, Part 2
teacher sweaters and the cock that haunts me
The miseducation of Ms. Mullins
Wow. Confession #558
When I come
You Want This
“‘I Have Sex’—students speak out against ideological attack on Planned Parenthood” on YouTube (Recommended Watch, Youth, Reproductive Rights, Politics, Sexuality Education) 3/9/11
This video is actually in support of Planned Parenthood in the face of the threat by the United States Congress to eliminate the organization’s federal funding for the health services they provide. Of course I am all for such support of Planned Parenthood, but the reason(s) I really love this video is because of its portrayal of and communication with young people. I certainly feel it would be helpful if we as a society stopped acting like people under the age of 18 are asexual and ignoring the reality of their sexual existence, but even further, I wish we would stop seeming to condescend them so much and acting as though they should be asexual and that if they are not, they are doing something wrong. (Of course I feel this is based on our own discomfort and insecurity around sex as adults, which I would be further thrilled if it seemed like we realized, acknowledged, and examined.) I appreciate the way (I perceive) this video addresses young people as human and autonomous beings.
“Why Kids in Montana (and Everywhere Else) Need Decent Sex Ed” by Kate Whittle (Sexuality Education, Youth, Memoir) 7/22/10
I find the idea of speaking with children about sexuality without acting like their exposure to the topic is akin to the apocalypse refreshing. It seems obvious to me that “talking about sex to/with” doesn’t automatically and intrinsically mean telling children things obviously beyond their level of maturity and understanding. It means treating them like human beings and answering their questions the way we would about other subjects and speaking about an aspect of life that is inherent in them, as it is in all of us, and treating it as such.
“How to Have ‘Sex Talks’—Plural—With Kids” by Monica Shores with Heather Corinna (Sexuality Education, Youth, Sex and Culture, Parenting) 11/30/10
This is an interview in two parts, and I definitely recommend both—the link above is to part 2 because it links back to part 1. The interview is with Heather Corinna, founder of Scarleteen, and the things she says in part 1 about the state of sexuality education for youth in the United States strike me as incisive and signficant. In part 2, she talks about parents talking with their children about sex, and I especially love the point of not confining such to some big “sex talk” but rather to simply answering questions about and discussing sex with children when the topic comes up, normalizing such conversation and indicating that sexuality is an integral and normative aspect of life.
“What Could Make America Sexually Healthy” by Megan Andelloux (Sexuality Education, Health, Sex and Culture) 3/19/11
I appreciate—and agree with—this perspective offered by Megan of the importance of the medical community learning about, discussing, and respecting sexuality.
“Ian Kerner’s SADD Anti-Porn Logic” by Thomas Roche (Media, Psychology, Health, Pornography) 4/12/11
This is a piece I appreciated on a number of levels, and I noted in particular Thomas’s mention of seeming to trivialize true ADD/ADHD by using it in everyday language to mean things like “’spacy’ or ‘flaky.’” I have experienced this as well in observing the term “OCD” used to mean things like “anal-retentive” or “intensely interested in something.” It’s not something I have tended to appreciate either. But I also appreciate Thomas’s taking to task the idea of someone dubbing a new “disorder” according to his own singular perception, in this case of men (I noted as well in the article to which Thomas is responding that the author appears to attribute porn watching solely to men…sigh) who seem affected by “excessive” porn-watching and masturbation to a point that affects their relationship with “real” women. (I don’t doubt, by the way, that this can occur, which I interpret Thomas as acknowledging as well, along with pointing out that such issues may discussed and that trained professionals exist to turn to for help if one feels so called—and that it does not mean the dubbing by one person of a new “disorder” is called for.)
“There’s More to Oxytocin Than We Knew” by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Health, Sex and Culture, Biology, Self-Awareness) 12/1/10
I love the way Charlie presents the information in this piece, not only because I find the actual results of the studies he mentions interesting but also because I agree so deeply with what is perhaps my favorite statement in the post: “All of this makes me think that anytime someone says that the brain works like this or that sex works like that, they’re probably oversimplifying the situation.”
“7 Ways to Create a Sex-Positive Critique of Porn” by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Pornography, Sex and Society, Psychology, Self-Awareness) 7/8/10
I find this post so filled with beautiful and relevant points I hardly know where to start succinctly describing it. The gamut of understanding I see in this piece including but not limited to issues around sexuality education, self-awareness, non-censorship, and psychological perception makes it one I earnestly appreciate and recommend reading. In addition—probably actually one of the main reasons I like it so much—I perceive the tone of the post to be grounded and non-judgmental itself, something that holds not insignificant value to me in discussions countering or addressing the perception of other(s).
“Slut-Shaming on the Playground” by Airial Clark (Parenting, Sex and Society, Youth, Sexuality Education) 3/21/11
I appreciate this piece from a parent who addresses what she perceives as her 11-year-old son’s demonstration of the beginnings of slut-shaming. Her recognition of the phenomenon and choice to address it openly and straightforwardly with her son resonates with me and seems to me an act of profound service not only to her son and those with whom he interacts but also to humanity collectively.
“Not Safe For Work” by Melissa Petro (Sex Work, Sex and Society, Government and Law, Memoir) 6/21/10
I intensely value this offering about social perception of sex workers outside of and beyond their holding of a job/jobs in that industry. I admit I still find myself astounded by what seem to me the numerous nonsensical perceptions about sex work/sex workers rampant in society, and when I am reminded of them in cases such as that of the author’s resignation in January from her job as an art teacher, I adore seeing pieces like this—that will perhaps someday represent such obviousness that there will be no more need to point out all the things they convey.
But in addition, as the title of this post suggests, part 2 (of 2) of my story “Out of the Park” is up now at Good Vibrations Magazine! (Part 1, which was published last Monday, is linked to at the beginning of the post.)
Thanks again to the lovely Good Vibrations Magazine, and happy baseball season! ;)
-from “Out of the Park”