Archive for March, 2012

March 28th, 2012

Recommended Reading #92: Relationship, Pt. III

      “Pay No Attention to That Relationship Behind the Curtain!” by Krista Haapala (Sociology, Psychology, Self-Awareness, Consciousness) 3/12/12

I really like how the author points out that certain relationship workings have not tended to be trotted out as “sexy” by our culture. Her observations about what has often seemed to work in relationship resonate with me, and I appreciate her sharing this.


      “Say What’s Not Being Said: Reid’s Formula for Difficult Conversations” by Reid Mihalko (Psychology, Self-Awareness, Communication) 3/20/12

This strikes me as not only an important concept but also filled with helpful and supportive invitations. I agree that consistently not sharing to or hiding things from people out of fear is ultimately not helpful to either party or the relationship. I also, however, appreciate the tone and straightforwardness of this piece, which I interpret as acknowledging the difficulty behind such an action in the first place. And I find Reid’s “script” (even if it’s just used as an exercise to clarify one’s own perception before offering from a place of immediacy/spontaneity) a fascinating and encouraging suggestion and potential tool.


      “How Pegging Can Help Save The World” by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Psychology, Sex and Gender, Interaction) 1/6/12

This offering: “For men who have never been on the receiving side of penetration, sex is something that happens outside the body” struck me as fascinating in that way things sometimes have when they seem obvious, but I recognize they have never occurred to me before. What an interesting point! On the whole I adore this post, which strikes me as profoundly caring, relevant, and insightful.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

March 21st, 2012

Recommended Reading #91: Erotica Writing

      “All About Pleasure: The Politics of Arousal” by Donna George Storey (Sex and Culture, Politics, Writing, Psychology) 3/18/12

I really appreciate Donna’s point about fiction in general being created to arouse. Why would it be more noble/moral/acceptable to arouse sadness, fear, or mirth, for example, than sexual excitement? I especially love the last line of this piece.


      “Multi Faceted People” by Lucy Felthouse (Writing, Sex and Culture, Sociology) Undated

While of course this seems obvious, it also sometimes seems to need to be said, and I feel Lucy did so beautifully.


      “Legal Censorship: PayPal Makes a Habit of Deciding What Users Can Read” by Rainey Reitman (Writing, Sex and Culture, Censorship) 2/29/12

Though it seems PayPal has rescinded the overreaching policy that evoked a recent firestorm, it seems to me the content of this piece remains keenly relevant and would be well heard and considered.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

March 16th, 2012

e[lust] #34

I have a post included in this month’s e[lust], a project organized by the lovely Dangerous Lilly. If you’re unfamiliar with e[lust] and would like an introduction, or if you would like to submit, see this page for information. Thanks for visiting!


e[lust] #34

Photo Courtesy of JM from There is No Spoon!

Welcome to e[lust] – Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #35 ? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! Note: Wondering why there is no Top 3 this edition? Read the latest Editor’s Note to find out why, and what you can do to help prevent this from happening in the future.

~ Featured Posts (Picked by Lilly) ~

The Ultrasound and the FuryI cried softly and my partner moved closer to the table so I could lay my cheek against him for comfort and support. Then they brandished a wand and explained they needed to take pictures inside of me. And told him to get out.

Vagina in the Wild – Adventures in PantslessnessThey are self-cleaning and self-lubricating. They are a wonderfully well designed body part that speaks of feminine power and beauty. They leave wet spots on the couch.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

The Ultimate Guide to Silicone Sex Toys — With Metis Black of Tantus, Inc.I picked the brain of Metis Black, the fabulous woman behind Tantus Inc, makers of some very awesome silicone sex toys. Get your sex geek on and find out some myths and facts about silicone sex toys!

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

As Is Custom
Consent and negotiation
Fishnets and Spanking and Sleep
In room entertainment
Ladies’ Night: My First Time at an All-Womens’ Sex Party
Learn the rope of knots: Overhand Knot
slapping…drinking…and other wacky fun…
That Moment

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

An Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh
Erotic-On Me
Eyes Wide Smut
Strangers on a Train

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Bondage Insecurities
Cunnilingus 101
Getaway Sex vs Everyday Sex
Gifts from Lover’s
Innies, Outties & 3-Ways
Im 35 and My Mum Can Hear Me Having Sex
Mono or Poly
Mmm, the kissage!
Never Pinch a Sadist #3: Relationship Rules
Primary? Alpha?
Safewords in the Real World
The long distance thing
The Next Evolution — Swinging-Open Marriage-Polyamory

Erotic Writing

A Good Day and Sexzy Night
50 Ways to Fuck Your Lover
Blissful Candlelit Climax
Cunny Honey
Easy Like Sunday Mornings
first date
In which… I go to my first party (Part I)
I’m the Slut
How It All Started
Mount’n Dew
Our Sex Diary (Part Two!)
Some Truth…About Cocksucking
She Takes Control
The Chair – The Execution
The Beast
That Familiar Maddening Thrill
The Importance of (Emotional and Physical) Self-Love
Vignette 2: Traffic Stop
Working Out
Whore’s Mouth

March 14th, 2012

Recommended Reading #90: Parenting, Pt. IV

      “Going Dutch?” by Julie Gillis (Youth, Sex and Culture) 10/31/11

I’m not surprised that other places/countries have seemingly calmer and more astute (or sane…) tendencies in dealing with sexuality, especially of young people, but I really appreciate what I also see in this piece about the postulation of Dutch parents actually trusting and respecting their teenage children. I don’t know if it always occurs to us in this country that, to me anyway, a vast majority of the shielding and denial we do of young people’s sexuality is disrespectful to their autonomy and their very humanness. As the author notes, there are salient questions surrounding the topic, but I do feel the collective predilection in this country to deny (and act hysterical about) young people’s sexuality is extreme and that we could learn something from a culture that seems to view it differently.


      “Keep the conversation going: How to handle sexuality questions outside of your comfort zone” by Remi Newman (Youth, Sexuality Education, Communication) 2/13/12

I appreciate the recommendations here—it strikes me as so relevant to recognize that even if parents have fostered open communication with their children about sexuality, it does not mean they (parents) are immune to their own issues. Recognizing that, it seems to me, may help prevent an inappropriate or shaming response to a child’s question that might, as the author mentions, be triggering to the parent who is asked.


      “What It’s Like To Be A Parent In An Open Marriage” by Sierra (Non-Monogamy, Youth, Sex and Culture, Relationship) 2/14/12

I simply love this. It may be one of my favorite things I’ve ever read on the subject of non-monogamy, at least in the context of children/families.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

March 7th, 2012

Recommended Reading #89: Digging Deeper, Pt. II

      “The Virtue of Pride” by T. Thorn Coyle (Non-sex-related, Psychology, Sociology, Self-Promotion, Spirituality) 12/16/11

I personally relate to a vast amount of what the author offers here (basically what she is lamenting). I have indeed found it quite challenging to assert my “place in the world” or “claim [my] space.” Seeing the folly and lack of usefulness of this stated so plainly (as I interpret it) strikes me as important–and while I don’t suddenly feel able to let go of the challenges I have historically experienced in this area, I do find this piece inspiring and appreciate the support I perceive in the message.


      “Confessions of a ‘Bad’ Teacher” by William Johnson (Non-sex-related, United States Public Policy, Education) 3/3/12

I feel particular resonance with the author’s articulation of potential long-term lessons teachers offer (in contrast with seemingly immediate results observable on performance tests). It does seem to me that numerous of a teacher’s effective offerings may not appear immediately noticeable due simply to the age and experience levels of students. That doesn’t mean tests or performance evaluations don’t have potential value, but losing sight of larger considerations in deference to them seems to me a profoundly un-ideal method of examining teaching.


      “Let’s Stop Insulting People By Comparing Them To Sex Workers (And Sluts!)” by Jamie Peck (Sex and Culture, Sex Work) 3/6/12

Ah, indeed. Obviously some of Rush Limbaugh’s recent comments about Sandra Fluke have seemed to evoke a social maelstrom. This post addresses one of the implicit allusions I have interpreted and found disturbing in some of the societal response. I both appreciate seeing attention brought to it in general and also like how the author frames it here particularly.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday