Archive for August, 2012
“Sex: You’re Doing it Right” by Candice Holdorf (Self-Awareness, Psychology, Spirituality) 8/7/12
It seems to me that almost anyone could benefit from and feel resonance reading this.
“Monogamy is a fairytale ideal: affairs won’t go away” by Helen Croydon (Non-monogamy, Relationship, Sex and Culture) 8/27/12
While I don’t feel any desire to actually “monogamy-bash” because it’s not monogamy I see as a problem but rather the cultural obsession with it, I appreciate offered perspectives about monogamy perhaps not seeming the ideal or “standard” for human romantic relationship. I doubly appreciate it when our obsession is pointed out to us, as sometimes it still seems to me the culture doesn’t even recognize this or simply thinks it is because monogamy is indeed inherently the best or most appropriate way to be in sexual/romantic relationship. (In case it is not obvious, I find this perspective outlandish.) Invitations like this to examine our cultural expectations and consider expansions of perspective and practice seem to me relevant and well-taken.
“50 Shades of…Jade?” by Jade Melisande (Self-Awareness, Non-monogamy, Sex and Culture, BDSM) 8/22/12
I am completely uninformed about Fifty Shades of Grey, as I have not read it and thus everything I have seen or heard about it is second-hand. I don’t love this piece because of knowing anything about that book; I love it because of what it points out about self-awareness and sexuality, particularly in the context of relationship. I also like what she says at the end about Fifty Shades being fiction. The whole post strikes me as insightful and interesting, and I agree that one’s experience of and appreciation for one’s sexuality (even if it is experienced as asexuality) is well worth examining and exploring.
I recently spent a few weeks traveling to my hometown to spend time with my family (and celebrate my nephew’s second birthday!), and consequently, I am quite behind on blogging. Well, actually, in relation to having things I’ve wanted to say, I’ve been behind on blogging for what seems like a year or two, but what I mean in this case is that I have missed the opportunity to mention a couple lovely anthology releases. :)
The more recent was actually just released today—the brand new e-book anthology Too Fast for Love: Opportunist Encounters, published by new imprint Mischief, is out and available on Mischief’s site here! This anthology contains my story, “A Few Hundred Dollars.” It’s my first time working with Mischief, and I’m honored to have a story included in this release!
The second release actually happened while I was in Iowa. Rachel Kramer Bussel‘s latest anthology, Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, is also out now and available in Kindle and print editions on Amazon, and you can also find it at Barnes & Noble or straight from the publisher! When I got back into town, my author copies were waiting for me, and I can hardly wait to read the stories with which my story “Apple Blossoms” is sharing pages. I’m quite excited to have been published in this collection!
That’s my fun writing news for now. :) All best to everyone reading this, and thanks for being here!
-from “Apple Blossoms,” available in Anything for You
“Broadening the Lens on Human Trafficking” by Alicia Peters (Human Rights, Law Enforcement, Sex and Culture) 8/2/12
I’ve seen other pieces on this (as well as addressed it in some of my own writing), but since the myth in question seems just as pervasive at it did at those times, commentaries like this seem deeply relevant and important to me (for numerous reasons).
“Rape exceptions aren’t legitimate” by Irin Carmon (Reproductive Rights, U.S. Public Policy) 8/20/12
The only line I would change in this is to say “how incredibly cruel opposition to abortion is” rather than (as I perceive it) attributing that characteristic to actual people. I have long felt that rape and/or incest exceptions do not make sense and that those espousing them simply demonstrate that opposition to abortion and abortion rights is solely about women and their sexuality and not about fetuses (after all, it’s not the fetus’s fault it was a result of rape. If abortion is indeed considered murder, why would it suddenly not be murder solely due to circumstances under which conception occurred?). I, of course, am unequivocally in favor of abortion rights, so from my perspective it is a moot point. It is one I have perceived and considered, though. I appreciate this piece and find it articulate and insightful.
“DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #38: Romantic Love Is Not a Competitive Sport” by Sugar (Relationship, Self-Awareness) 5/27/10
I love both the content of the response here and the directness with which it is offered. I couldn’t agree more, and I found Sugar’s response thoroughly heartening and refreshing.
“Liberate Your Ass: How Sexual Freedom is Key to Fighting the Right” by Elisabeth Fernandez-Kimmel (Sex and Culture, Sex Work, Rights, Activism, Youth) 6/11/12
In my perspective, this piece raises so many and such important points. Upon being asked how I go about being an “activist” for sex worker rights and sexual authenticity, I have said for years that one of the acts I perform to this end is speaking openly about my work as a webcam model, stripper, and porn performer (especially after the listener has discerned that I am formally educated). This has often seemed, sometimes visibly, to present preconception-twisting evidence that has seemed relevant and important to me in opening considerations and examination around sexual freedom, self-awareness, and authenticity—which ultimately I see as imperative to and promoting of the kind of shifts and understanding I perceive this post to be advocating.
“Excuse Me, Who Is Obsessed With My Sexuality?” by Rev. Candace Chellew-Hodge (Sexual Orientation, Sex and Culture, Religion) 8/16/12
I find this a beautiful, personal exposition outlining an incisive perspective about cultural struggles around sexual orientation.
“Dear Hypothetically Gay Son” by John Kinnear (Sexual Orientation, Parenting, Sex and Culture) 8/7/12
I don’t know how one could not find this heartening and beautiful.
“The Perils of Publication” by Donna George Storey (Writing, Self-Awareness) 7/2012
Donna’s writing has certainly touched me the way she references in this piece. As usual, I love the style and content of her offering here, rich with self-awareness and the aspiration thereto, and focusing on, over and over, what is true. Something so to be appreciated.
“The Chick Fellatio: stuck in the craw” by Wayne Self (Sexual Orientation, Sociology, Public Policy) 7/30/12
While obviously I agree with what I interpret this post as saying, what I really appreciate about it is the humanistic and nonconfrontational way I perceive it as presented—which does not strike me as strategic but rather as simply sincere. Beautiful.
“Talking About Porn At Yale With Gail Dines” by Miss Maggie Mayhem (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Psychology, Sociology) 7/17/12
I find this brilliant in so many ways. So many, in fact, that I won’t even begin to list them—I simply recommend reading it. :)