Archive for October, 2012

October 31st, 2012

Recommended Reading #123: Humor, Pt. III



      “The Creative Process — Pie Chart” at LOL Zombie (Non-Sex-Related, Writing) Undated

I first discovered this on Janine Ashbless’s blog and must credit her with introducing it to me. I realize it doesn’t involve much reading, but it did/does make me laugh out loud. (For me the random Internet surfing piece is larger than the binge eating piece, but the overall point is still much appreciated!)

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      “Stabbing the Cat” by Ashley Lister (Non-Sex-Related, Pets) 10/20/12

Amidst obvious reverence for the health challenges of both cat and wife, this made me laugh out loud.

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      “The Daily Grinder” at PostHumorous.org (Non-Sex-Related, Memoir) 1/25/10

This has cracked me up literally every time I’ve read it—starting with the title!

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

October 24th, 2012

Recommended Reading #122: Digging Deeper, Pt. IV



      “Men Aren’t Weak, And Neither Are Muslims” by Hugo Schwyzer (Sociology, Gender, Religion) 10/2/12

I find the parallels Hugo draws here excellent. Both points—that people’s ideals are not so fragile that insulting or offending them should bring people to violence, and that heterosexual men’s self-control is not rendered nonexistent or inoperable by any visual stimulation on the part of women—seem both patently obvious and commonly unrecognized or overlooked to me. I found Hugo’s juxtaposing of them here powerful and incisive.

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      “What Does Paula Ryan Think? Castration is a Gift From God” by Soraya Chemaly (Politics, Gender, Sex and Culture) 10/24/12

[Trigger warning: sexual assault]
As profoundly sad as the idea of this needing to be said seems to me, it does seem called-for, and I appreciate Ms. Chemaly’s expressing this.

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      “Vacation Sex Should Happen At Home” by Alyssa Royse (Self-Awareness, Sexual Identity, Safer Sex) 10/1/12

Indeed. It amazes me somewhat that this still needs to be said, but it seems to, so I appreciate Ms. Royse’s saying it!

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

October 17th, 2012

Recommended Reading #121: Parenting, Pt. V



      “The right way to talk to young girls about beauty” by Hugo Schwyzer (Non-Sex-Related, Gender Socialization, Sociology) 1/17/12

I simply love this and couldn’t agree more. To me our systems of socialization have seemed so skewed that we seem to have difficulty seeing physical beauty or attractiveness as simply another of multitudes of personal traits different people experience, prioritize, and perceive differently. Why is physical beauty, for example, seen (it seems to me) in some contexts as more or less universally relevant than, for example, the ability to run fast or retain memories of historical facts or play chess or project one’s voice? Each of these seems to have different contexts in which it seems more relevant, and some people who have not experienced themselves as exemplifying these qualities may wish to, and some people may feel more inclined to appreciate or pay attention to cultivating any of these traits than others. I see physical beauty as another of these traits. Our socialization has somehow made this seem more complicated, which I find somewhat unfortunate.

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      “Why I Didn’t Call The Cops After My Daughter’s Near Sexual Assault” by Lynn Beisner (Sexual Assault, Youth, U.S. Justice System) 10/9/12

[TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual assault]
I recommend this because the strength and courage of the young woman involved almost leaves me speechless—both from gratitude and from admiration. I appreciate her actions so much. The author’s expression that her daughter, by “doing whatever it took to even survive, let alone escape rape” had “earned the right to choose what happened next” struck me deeply. Another thing that struck me was the incredible relationship between the mother and daughter, especially for a young teenager. Extraordinary, and I’m so glad for both of them that they had that level of respect, trust, and connection with each other. Additionally, the author’s mention that she “knew in [her] heart that in a perfect world, this would be something that a criminal justice system should investigate” gave me a hollow feeling. What a horrible predicament that our “justice” system simply does not feel dependable to some people in some places (understandably, I don’t doubt).

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      “You are enough” by Hollie Holden (Non-Sex-Related, Consciousness/Spirituality, Self-Awareness) 10/15/12

A profound message—and one I find universally well-taken.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

October 10th, 2012

Recommended Reading #120: Interaction and Relating, Pt. II



      “On Digging Out My Ex Wife’s Tampon” by Hugo Schwyzer (Memoir, Relationship) 9/20/12

I don’t feel I know what to say about this except that I found it touching and beautiful.

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      “Make Me Want It” by Mollena Williams (BDSM, Self-Awareness, Psychology) 10/3/12

This brought me to tears a few times as I read it. Though the reasons seemed inexplicable, I suspect the energy and sincerity I sensed in what was being said simply touched something deep in me, whether I felt consciously aware of what it was or not. This struck me as a beautiful piece.

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      “It’s A Lap Dance. It’s A Moment. Take It” by AV Flox (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Memoir) 10/7/12

I find this one of the most eloquent, articulate expositions I’ve come across on something I myself have felt and expressed numerous times.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

October 3rd, 2012

Recommended Reading #119: Politics, Pt. IV



      “What do responses to the Washington DC 20-week abortion ban tell us about the habits of the prochoice movement?” by Tracy Weitz (Reproductive Rights, U.S. Public Policy) 7/25/12

I firmly agree with what I interpret this piece as saying and indeed have felt such things for some time. Constitutionality might be relevant practically, but I have never found it an argument to use as a basis for reproductive rights—the basic right to sexual and bodily autonomy is far more fundamental than anything any court/Court has to say. I see the right to choose and obtain an abortion as fundamentally frankly having nothing to do with law or courts—the right is always there regardless of practical circumstances. Again, practical circumstances and law are important, but it seems to me an emphasis on and understanding of the fundamental rights involved for all women would be more likely to lead organically to those protections than continually fighting for manipulable legal protections will lead to actual reproductive freedom.

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      “Republicans, Democrats: Here’s A Sexual Health Platform” by Dr. Marty Klein (U.S. Public Policy, Health and Body, Sex and Culture) 9/8/12

How lovely it seems to me it would be if what’s expressed here actually made its way into mainstream public conversation. And even lovelier, it also seems to me, if these policies were understood to be the accepted and acceptable framework of sexual public policy in the United States.

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      “Sex: the missing term from the contraception and abortion debate” by Chloe Angyal (Sex and Culture, Gender, Health and Body) 10/2/12

I don’t even know what to add to this. I love it, and I feel so energized and delighted to see it said.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday