Archive for January, 2013

January 30th, 2013

Recommended Reading #135: Porn, Pt. III

      “Chatting with porn’s ‘it’ boy, James Deen” by Lynn Comella (Sex Work, Sex and Culture) 1/18/13

I love this for numerous reasons. Generally speaking, I eschew and feel uncomfortable around gossip, including celebrity gossip–so while I could do without the exposition about Ms. Lohan, I do appreciate that he addresses something that seems for some reason to have been abundantly exploited in mainstream media. Mostly I adore what he says about wanting to do porn, finding it an admirable profession, and its professionalism as a genre.


      “Porn On Australian Current Affairs Shows” by Ms. Naughty (Youth, Sex and Culture, Psychology) 5/10/12

I found the excerpts of young people’s perspectives about porn here especially refreshing, and perhaps what I most strongly agree with and appreciate in this piece is the emphasis on educating and talking about porn and sexuality. The idea that suppressing and trying desperately to screen these things from people’s perception rather than speaking and communicating about them seems astonishingly and pathetically not helpful to me. (One last thing—while I agree that using “addiction” in relation to porn and sex is absurdly and unhelpfully prevalent in this culture right now and agree that the term is frequently not helpful, another way I see it is that we can be and are “addicted” to numerous things—food, shopping, the Internet, gossip—and so singling out addiction to sex or porn as though it is something so very different or separate seems more indicative to me of our cultural neurosis around sex than any actual difference between those addictions and other non-physically-based ones.)


      “Please Stop Trying to Make Ladyporn Happen” by Katie J.M. Baker (Sex and Culture, Gender Socialization, Pornography) 1/29/13

My appreciation for this piece is pretty much summed up in one of its sentences: “But blanket statements about what women currently and historically jill off to are getting really old.” My own perspective is that they never embodied value in the first place.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

January 28th, 2013

Writing Tips at the How to Write Erotic Fiction Blog

41WgTJEZCnL._SS500_Ashley Lister is one of my favorite people I’ve never met in person. He has written a nonfiction book that is forthcoming in March in the US titled How to Write Erotic Fiction (in the UK it may be pre-ordered now here). He has asked some authors to offer writing tips to share on the book’s blog prior to its release, and mine have been posted today. I was truly honored that Ashley asked me to participate as such, and it was my pleasure to do so.

Seeing my tips today also reminded me what they were—and that I should go right now and follow them myself!


“It shouldn’t be so hard to be inspired, it shouldn’t be so hard just to write this song…it shouldn’t be so hard to change the world…”
-Siszter Hazel “Effortlessy”

January 23rd, 2013

Recommended Reading #134: Observation and Assessment

      “Please Don’t Help My Kids” by Kate Bassford Baker (Non-Sex-Related, Parenting, Youth, Self-Awareness, Psychology) 9/14/12

I felt quite moved by this. I can hardly imagine being a parent, and given my own projections and experience around fear, it felt uncomfortable for me to even read about allowing one’s child to feel fear. And yet everything she says rings true to me. I recognize(d) that my own issues around fear are what made me uncomfortable rather than anything I actually interpret her as assessing. This strikes me as a grounded, beautiful, self-aware offering on parenting and existence as a human being.


      “Porno time warp? Final thoughts on the 2013 Adult Entertainment Expo” by Lynn Comella (Pornography, Sex Work, Gender, Sexual Orientation) 1/21/13

I appreciate this thoughtful take on one of the biggest annual events in porn (and the sex industry in general). I find this written without malice or antagonism, but rather attention and observation and the credibility of someone who has been present at the event for the last six years. Lastly, I like what she says–if there was indeed a dearth of diverse representation at the Expo this year, I agree with her that I hope that shifts (again) in the future.


      “Censored By Kickstarter” by Monica Day (Sex and Culture, Performance Art) 8/21/12

Update: Monica appealed the Kickstarter decision in this case and won! I’m delighted for her, though what she says here still seems relevant to me and well worth reading.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

January 16th, 2013

Recommended Reading #133: Gender Relations

      “Out Of Bounds Blog No. 14 – Problems” by Chris Kluwe (Relationship, Sexual Orientation, U.S. Public Policy) 10/1/12

The author’s “Problem the fourth” mentions circumstances I find particularly insidious and irksome in this “debate” (it is in quotes because I find the entire idea of feeling such an investment in the institution of marriage that it is needed to “defend” it against something by not allowing some to enter into it legally frankly absurd…I don’t even see why marriage has anything to do with the government, but that is a digressing rant)—I have sometimes wanted to scream upon hearing the phrase “traditional marriage,” as usually the idea has seemed to me flung about in an astonishingly ignorant way given some of the things that have historically been “traditional” about marriage. I appreciate the author’s articulation of “Problem the fifth,” too, as it certainly seems to me that if marriage is, for whatever reason, going to be sanctioned and attended to by the government, there should be nothing religious surrounding those sanctions whatsoever in the governmental—i.e., legal—context. Overall, I much appreciate this piece and the sincere and respectful way I perceive it as being written.


      “Female-to-male alongside pop culture” by Thomas Page McBee (Gender, Sexual Orientation, Sex and Culture) 5/23/12

I found this a moving, articulate, illuminating piece on transitioning from female to male.


      “The ‘Good Guy’ Myth” by Taylor Callobre (Gender Socialization, Sex and Culture, Relationship) 1/30/12



Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

January 9th, 2013

Recommended Reading #132: The Call for Revolution

      “Strong female characters” by Madeline Ashby (Non-Sex-Related, Gender, Sociology, Self-Awareness) 12/16/12

As I mentioned in another post, I deliberately avoided reading about the recent school shooting in Connecticut (as I have many/most news stories that it doesn’t seem nourishing to me for the public to fawn and foam about). I began reading this piece with no idea there would be references to it in it. I cried while I read this piece, one of the first accounts I’ve read about things that someone says happened that day. I don’t know how one reads this whole piece without crying, and because of that I don’t feel inclined to say a whole lot about what I appreciated about it. I hope it’s self-explanatory.


      “The Soapbox: On Steubenville High School & Teaching Boys Not To Rape” by Avital Norman Nathman (Gender Socialization, Violence, Parenting, Youth) 1/3/13



      “The Freedom You Can’t Win Through Politics” by Monica Day (Self-Awareness, Consciousness, Sex and Culture, Violence, Gender) 1/9/13

I find this moving, resonant, and extraordinary.


Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday