Archive for Recommended Reading
Recommended Reading #84: Fiction, Pt. III

“Pierced” by Alison Tyler (Erotic Fiction, BDSM) 9/12/09
This is one of my many favorite pieces by Alison Tyler. Its incredible subtlety that seems, to me, to intertwine with its also incredible evocativeness to provoke the staggering sexiness it does takes my breath away every time. Simply gorgeous.
“A Good Maid Never Uses A Mop” by KM (Gina Marie) (Erotic Fiction, Voyeurism) 8/26/08
I’ve loved this story ever since I first read it a few years ago. To me, it manages to combine humor, irreverence, and hot sex to quite charming effect!
“Reality, Fantasy” by Jade Melisande (Erotic Fiction, Fantasy, BDSM) 1/19/12
I was delighted and mesmerized by this fantasy piece by the lovely Jade. Beautiful, hot, captivating—breathtaking!
Recommended Reading #83: Writing, Pt. III

“on erotica” by Michelle Augello-Page (Sex and Culture, Erotica, Self-Awareness) 11/17/11
I especially like the excerpts Michelle provides in this post as complementary to what she herself is saying. The combination of excerpt and her original offering strikes me as interesting and insightful.
“For Books’ Sake Talks To: Kristina LLoyd” (Interview, Erotica, Writing, Gender) 3/22/11
I enjoy the variety of questions this interview includes, and I find Kristina’s responses about erotica, gender, and sexuality thoughtful and compelling.
“The End of the Affair” by Remittance Girl (Writing, Erotica, Psychology) Undated
I found this expose fascinating and appreciate Remittance Girl’s outlining in such detail the way she performed this research and the conclusions she drew.
Recommended Reading #82: Sex as Labor, Pt. II

“Love Ranch or bust” by Dr. Lynn Comella (Sex Work, Memoir) 10/20/11
I find this expose delightful and so appreciate Lynn’s exploring and writing it.
“Life is hard enough for prostitutes without our work being criminalised” by Sheila Farmer (Sex Work, Law, Abuse, Memoir) 1/6/12
[Trigger warning for survivors of child and adult sexual abuse/assault.] This seems certainly not a light piece, and even hard to read. Its argument for the decriminalization of sex work seems resounding in a way I truly don’t understand how almost anyone could ignore.
“You’ve Got Problems: Sex Worker Childhoods” by Charlotte Shane (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Sociology) 12/6/11
While I find the phenomenon this post addresses troublesome and disheartening (for many of the reasons the post discusses), I find this post, in response to it, profoundly beautifully articulated.
Recommended Reading #81: Gender Socialization, Pt. II

“Dear Writers: Arousal and Erection Are Not The Same Thing” by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Sex and Culture, Health and Body, Psychology, Sociology) 12/15/11
While it amazes me that this still has to be said, I appreciate that Charlie says it and says it so well. Appreciating the individualism and complexity of sexuality and not appreciating reinforcement of simplistic gender assumptions are quite in alignment with my own perspective, and I feel Charlie speaks sensibly about them here.
Geena Davis on Piers Morgan Tonight (Recommended Watch, Politics) 9/23/11
I so wholly agree with Ms. Davis’s point at the end of this video that it energizes me to see it presented in a context with so many viewers. It has occurred to me since I can remember that the relative rarity of seeing certain positions or responsibilities fulfilled by female-bodied/-identified individuals seems to make it so when a woman does, she supposedly or is perceived as representing “women” in general—which strikes me as obviously ludicrous.
“It’s Okay to be Neither” by Melissa Bollow Tempel (Gender Identity, Youth, Sex and Culture, Memoir) 12/16/11
I have read this more than once now, and I have been brought to tears each time. This strikes me as one of the most beautiful, inspirational things I have seen about teaching, humanity, and gender in some time…perhaps ever.
Recommended Reading #80: Interaction and Relating

“The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck” by Melissa McEwan (Feminism, Sociology) 8/14/09
This resonated quite a bit with me, and it strikes me as not an easy piece. While I saw in it a little more perception of separation based on sex than I have probably historically appreciated, I related to much of it, and I agree with the author (as I interpret it) that this seems very sad somehow. Ultimately, I really like the point I interpret her making at the end that it is up to all of us to be aware of ways our privilege might go unnoticed by us and result in historically oppressed populations feeling more so or dismissed, and to work to empathize and appreciate that all the time, thus “be[ing] vigilant, [because we] must make [ourselves] trustworthy. Every day.”
This anonymous comment on “The Sort of Crap I Don’t Get” at Whatever (Perspective, Memoir) 9/2/11
For whatever reason, I feel like I’ve been encountering references to and expositions about the concept of privilege lately. Of all of it, it may be that this piece, framed as a personal narrative and containing a progression of perception in memoir form, has struck me as both the most fascinating as well as one of the most effective illustrations of what privilege may mean and how it may manifest in everyday interactions.
“Some Thoughts on ‘Crazy Women’” by Dr. Charlie Glickman (Self-Awareness, Psychology, Gender Socialization) 12/28/11
I deeply appreciate this piece from Charlie. Though I read the Gaslighting piece he mentions sometime back, it never fully resonated with me, and I think even at the time I felt vaguely aware that that was because it seemed a little too simplistic and generalizing to me. I completely agree with Charlie that people of all genders and sexual orientations have engaged in this behavior, and I also concur that it isn’t always conscious. I feel much more resonance with Charlie’s exploration here, which I interpret as including and addressing gender socialization as well as lack of self-awareness, both of which strike me as paramount to the discussion at hand (or, frankly, almost any discussion relating to sociology or psychology).
Recommended Reading #79: Humor, Pt. II

“ANIMALS IN MIDLIFE CRISES: Butterfly” by Lincoln Michel and John Dermot Woods (Non-sex-related, Comic) 4/10/11
As we wind down to the end of the Western calendar year, I’ve chosen three light pieces this week. This one made me smile the first time I saw it, and it still does.
“Author Promoting Book Gives It Her All Whether It’s Just 3 People Or A Crowd Of 9 People” at the Onion (Non-sex-related, Writing) 4/14/11
I imagine just about any writer who has held readings or done a book promotion tour could appreciate the humor in this.
“I’m On A Mexican Radio pt I” at PostHumorous.org (Non-sex-related, Memoir) 6/8/11
This seriously makes me laugh out loud. Even after reading it numerous times, I still crack up throughout it (often at the same parts, ha). Enjoy!
Recommended Reading #78: Humanity and Inspiration, Pt. III

“These three ladies changed our lives” by Dayle A. Dermatis (Non-sex-related, Memoir) 11/21/11
Since the author of this post (also known as Andrea Dale, a fellow erotica author), is someone I know personally, it’s possible this story affects me more than it would were that not the case. But I’m not sure—it seems to me it is a striking account of beautiful actions that brings me to tears. Regardless of whether I personally know those involved or not, I feel true gratitude for that kind of expression of beauty.
“Michigan – Endings and Beginnings” by Jade at A Poly Life (Non-sex-related, Parenting, Youth) 12/2/11
As simple as this post may seem, I felt quite moved by it. The sincere affection and love of a parent combined with the equally sincere recognition of one’s child as an autonomous being, and having the strength and equilibrium to be with both, inspires me deeply.
“A Victim Treats His Mugger Right” by Michael Garofalo (Non-sex-related, Personal, Memoir) 3/28/08
This strikes me as poignantly and beautifully encompassing of the kind of love and perspective that it seems to me can change the world.
Recommended Reading #77: Politics, Pt. III

“Disappointed Doesn’t Cut It Anymore: A Mother’s Rebuttal of President Obama’s Plan B Politics” by Kate Stewart (Reproductive Rights, United States Public Policy, Health and Body, Parenting, Youth) 12/8/11
I wholly agree with this, and indeed it brought up many of the same points that occurred to me when I heard the news of United States Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’s overrule of the FDA approval of making Plan B One Step available without a prescription regardless of age—it was not just anger with the decision and choices that were made but also deep concern that an administration I have tended to appreciate (most certainly compared to the last one) had taken this action that literally reminded me of something the Bush administration would do. The idea that I feel in a position to make that comparison makes me cringe as well as feel stunned. This article really points out some of the ways and reasons I feel concerned, and I appreciate the author’s articulation as such.
“A Young Doctor’s Response to President Obama’s Plan B Failure: Where Is the Scientific Integrity?” by Dr. Megan Evans (Reproductive Rights, Health and Body, Youth, United States Public Policy) 12/11/11
This speaks as well to things that occurred to me as I was still reeling in shock at Secretary Sebelius’s decision: specifically, when I read of President Obama’s expression of support for her decision, I was thoroughly unimpressed by the invocation of “11-year-old” girls having access to the drug right on the shelves at drugstores with the apparent concern of what might happen if they don’t know how to use it correctly. Um, perhaps the fact that an 11-year-old has apparently had unprotected sex is of more concern—and keeping her from accessing this medicine if that’s the case is perhaps not the most sensible action in that context to take?? Would we prefer she get pregnant?? Further, might it be that there are numerous drugs on shelves in drugstores that an 11-year-old might not know how to take correctly but yet does indeed have access to whenever he/she/they finds him/her/themselves in a drugstore? I felt so disgusted by this obvious absurdity encompassed by the President’s statement I hardly knew what to do with myself. This piece, I feel, expresses well much of what occurred to me.
Speech by The Very Rev. Dr. Katherine Hancock Ragsdale (Reproductive Rights, Sexual Orientation, United States Public Policy, Sociology) 1/24/10
This strikes me as not an easy piece. I am unequivocally pro-choice and supportive of sexual freedom. There were things in this piece that hadn’t occurred to me, and things I read to which I did not know my response right away. (I will qualify that I do not much like the word “God” and would not myself choose to use it where she does.) That is one reason I find this piece so powerful. I recommend this as reading in the spirit of appreciating the contemplation-provoking content I saw in it. To invite or evoke contemplation rarely seems undesirable to me. I’d like also to mention that I happen to know the Reverend Dr. Katherine Hancock Ragsdale (I’ve always loved the sound of her full title and name) personally and, during the time period in which I interacted with her, found her one of the more brilliant and inspiring individuals with whom I’ve had the privilege to be acquainted.


















