The Green Light District

International Sex Worker Rights Day

Today (March 3) is International Sex Worker Rights Day. I would like to observe the occasion here by listing and highlighting some things pertaining to sex work/sex workers’ rights lately that I find cool/uplifting/heartening/lovely. The t-shirt I am wearing in the picture, by the way, was produced by the fabulous and local-to-me organization HIPS (Helping Individual Prostitutes Survive).

Also, if you happen to be in the New York City area, a potluck dinner celebration will be held this evening as organized by SWOP, SWANK and PROS Network.

Okay, on to the aforementioned list:

1) “An open letter from a client” at Harlot’s Parlour. I love that this is a letter to a governing body in support of sex workers’ rights in relation to proposed legislation, I love that a client cared enough to write it, and I love what it says.

2) As posted on Violet Blue’s website, San Francisco-based porn company Pink and White Productions has compiled a recommended practices list for the porn industry/porn performers. I am all about safer sex practices in porn and like Violet am delighted to see a company present a document such as this.

3) While it may not seem directly related to sex work/sex workers’ rights, sexuality education and open dialogue about sexuality in society seem to me quite intermingled with them, and the circumstances surrounding this center on the eve of its grand opening illustrate the struggle for sexual freedom in which sex workers’ rights is encompassed. The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Rhode Island opened its doors on February 1 after a surprise controversy that erupted late last year over supposed zoning concerns threatened its doing so. Congratulations to founder Megan Andelloux and the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health!

4) The story in this comment on the blog of Veronica Monet. Feel free indeed to read Veronica’s blog post as well, but it’s not necessary to contextualize this account in the comment, posted by Gillette (no contact information given):

“I will, though, share a story.

When I first started my work 14 years ago, I shared with a Tantrika friend about what I was doing [prostitution, I have the impression] and why. I felt safe sharing as, heck..we were assisting at a Tantra workshop, she did “healing massage” and we were both supposedly doing our inner work. She blasted me like no one had before. I just kept breathing, knowing that we had to be together all weekend in this close environment, working together for the participants. Our “stuff” had no place there.

At first she wouldn’t look at me. I simply kept reminding myself that this had nothing to do with me, it was her stuff. I was safe, all was well, etc, etc.

The last day she came up to me and thanked me. During the course of the weekend she realized that her blast had come from her fear about doing the same work. That she had been getting intuitive flashes that it was her next step but she was afraid.”

Oh my. I don’t even know what to say about this except that it may be one of the coolest personal accounts I have ever read in the context of sex work.

And there is my list of beautiful celebrations I specifically honor on this International Sex Worker Rights Day. Best wishes, support, gratitude, and love to all current and former sex workers on this day of celebration of our universal rights amidst our professional vocations. (And of course best wishes, support, gratitude, and love to everyone everywhere as well. We are, after all, all One. :))

Love,
Emerald

“No more turning away from the coldness inside, just a world that we all must share, it’s not enough just to stand and stare, is it only a dream that there’ll be no more turning away?…”
-Pink Floyd “On the Turning Away”

Filed under: Sex+ Government, Sex+ Society, Sex+ Work |7 Comments

Lighting a Red Candle

As I mentioned last year (though on MySpace at the time, as it was before this blog was launched), December 17 is the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers as conceived and named by Annie Sprinkle and SWOP-USA in 2003. The red umbrella is an international symbol (history/origination here) of support for the rights of and protestation of violence and discrimination against sex workers.

An article by Dr. Sprinkle about the origination of the recognition of this day may be found here. It is a read I highly recommend.

SWOP-USA’s December 17 site contains a listing of events around the country and world to recognize the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I don’t know of any organized gatherings in the geographical location where I am this year, so my own commemoration will be solo. I have procured a red candle (conveniently easy to do this time of year) that is currently lit and that I plan to have lit throughout the day in silent support for current and former sex workers, our rights as professionals and as individuals, and deep reverence and respect for those who experienced violence in the line of work in the last year and ever.

And reverence and respect for all.

Namaste.

Love,
Emerald

“One day you’ll have to let it go, you’ll have to let it go…one day you’ll stand up on your own, remember losing hope, remember feeling low, remember all the feelings and the day they stopped; we are, we are all innocent, we are all innocent, we are, we are…”
-Our Lady Peace “Innocent”

Filed under: Sex+ Government, Sex+ Work |2 Comments

Speaking for Myself…

As I mentioned in my last post, on Tuesday of last week Ms. Violet Blue appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, the topic of which was women and pornography and erotica. A few days ago Alison Tyler linked to the comments on the episode at the show’s website. I read said comments, and while there are many things that could be commented on (there was much talk about “porn addiction,” pornography “destroying families,” its being the “leading cause divorce in America,” etc., etc., etc….sigh), I am commenting here on one particular theme that I noticed not for the first time.

A lot of people seem to want to talk about “most women’s experience” working in porn (apparently men’s experience is not relevant). In this specific instance, featured guest Jenna Jameson’s experience, for example, was hailed as an “exception” to “most women’s experience” in porn. Well, indeed, Ms. Jameson is an “exception” in that she’s arguably the most famous porn star in the world. Just as Michael Jordan is an “exception” in his profession as one of the most famous basketball players in the world. That’s great. But the reason people seem to be pointing this out in Ms. Jameson’s case is to claim the generalization that most women’s experience working in porn is degrading, exploitative, harrowing, etc.

I wonder how many people (women, presumably) these individuals know who have worked in porn? Or how else it is that they think they know this? Sometimes there have been exposes or stories told via the media about people working in it or who used to work in porn, but it has seemed to me that what is reported by the media in general (on all sorts of topics) may not be representative of the majority of experience. Why is it that some people seem so certain about the experience of the majority of women who have worked in porn — have they met most of the people about whom they are speaking? Are they familiar personally with a vast number of porn performers?

Incidentally, this type of widespread assumption seems to extend to people (usually women) working in almost any facet of the sex industry. I recall having a conversation with a former co-worker of mine at my last full-time day job a few years ago. I was explaining that I supported the decriminalization of prostitution, and he said he didn’t understand why and/or whom that would benefit since “no one does that job voluntarily.” I asked him how he knew that. He stated that it was “obvious.” I asked him how many whores he had known from whom he had apparently gleaned this understanding.

Guess what his answer was.

Anyway, back to porn, it’s not even that I am out and out disagreeing with these naysaying individuals, because I don’t know a whole lot of porn performers either, especially professional ones (in my time working in porn I only met one). But I have been a porn performer myself (amateur porn rather than professional — a loose description of the difference may be found here), and when I read or hear generalizing comments like this I have experienced the odd feeling of someone seeming to speak for me to whom I have never spoken about this aspect of my experience — as well as that of my experience being virtually unacknowledged or, if it is, dismissed.

Working as a pornographic performer did not seem to me like some big scandalous/radical/shocking embarkation. It seemed like something interesting and appealing to me to do in line with the interest I felt in working in the sex industry. I appreciated the opportunity and in general enjoyed the work I have done therein. It doesn’t seem strange to me to imagine that I wasn’t some major exception in feeling this way and that a number of people may similarly have freely chosen/choose to and enjoy working in porn. What does seem mystifying to me is how many people seem to think they know what “most” women’s experience working in porn is or that this experience somehow tends to be homogenous for women in general. How exactly is it that they think they know that?

I would like to digress here for a moment and say that on the referenced episode of Oprah’s show, I did find the comments from Steve Hirsch (CEO of Vivid Entertainment Group) about condom usage — that they weren’t part of people’s “fantasy” and that porn featuring condoms just didn’t sell as well — considerably disheartening. For me condom usage was unquestioned. I respectfully insisted on condoms for all vaginal and anal penetration, and it was simply not a point of negotiation. In my experience working in amateur porn, I very rarely encountered resistance to this. On the occasions I did, there was no hesitation in me to simply decline that job.

There are things I myself personally don’t appreciate about the way some pornography is made and (especially) marketed, sure. The things I have not liked about pornography, however, for the most part have seemed to me reflective of societal propensities and not the inherent fault of pornography — the graphic depiction of sex with the intent to arouse — as a genre. Incidentally, it also seems to me that to say that pornography is inherently “degrading to women” is to say that sex is inherently degrading to women and that when they partake in it they are being intrinsically objectified (whereas men are not). I not only find no merit in that position but moreover see that contention itself as what is degrading and oppressive to women.

I do not at all purport to speak for everyone in the pornography industry here any more than I assent to other people speaking for me in that context. I know what my own experience working in porn has been, and I am happy to share/discuss it. That which I have discussed in this post simply brought to my attention once again what seem to be some automatic/unquestioned assumptions prevalently applied to working in and workers of the sex industry. Those assumptions seem to me indicators of underlying societal attitudes and conceptions we may do well to examine.

Love,
Emerald

“How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable, so condescending unnecessarily critical…”
-Maroon 5 “Harder to Breathe”

Filed under: Sex+ Society, Sex+ Work |6 Comments

And I Am a Former Sex Worker

I don’t know how I missed this when it first came out (in April), but I was checking out the website for the 2010 New York Sex Bloggers calendar (featuring such bloggers as Audacia Ray, Urban Gypsy, and Rachel Kramer Bussel, all of whom are also featured in the inaugural 2009 calendar hanging on my entry way wall) and clicked over to Sex Work Awareness, which sales of the calendar benefits. It was there I found this spectacular video, which of course I want to share here:

Beautiful. Huge kudos and thanks to the Sex Work Awareness Speak Up media training workshop for this magnificent public service announcement.

Love,
Emerald

“She’ll tease you, she’ll unease you, all the better just to please you, she’s precocious, and she knows just what it takes to make a pro blush…”
-Kim Carnes “Bette Davis Eyes”

Filed under: Sex+ Society, Sex+ Work |8 Comments

Repression, Sexuality, Service, and Gratitude

Since I spent the first part of this week traveling, I spent last night catching up on blog reading (yes, I do plan to catch up on email eventually as well …no really). One of the things I ran across was P. S. Haven’s latest post, in which he provides a novella excerpt that I found quite captivating and poignant (as well as beautifully written). I found it poignant because it involved a young woman who (apparently) felt that sex was against what God wanted and that it was sinful to be involved in it.

And I remember feeling that way.

I know a number of people who grew up in strict religious households and rebelled against that inside themselves when they became adults (or even a little before). That was actually not my experience. I was, indeed, told that “sex was for marriage” and that having sex before one was married was against the rules according to “God.” But it wasn’t pounded into me or emphasized much — it was just presented as basically a given, the “way it is,” and then not talked about very much in my family or experience or even the church I attended.

It didn’t need to be. I will spare anyone reading this a detailed explanation of historical psychic structure patterns in me and suffice to say that there was a configuration of fear, constraint, and self-deprivation already evident in me that took this “rule” as it was presented and solidified it into something that I was required to follow. The pressure to not have sex before I was married after that first message that it was a rule according to “God” came almost entirely from a very strict part of the psychic structure in me — which is to say, it was almost entirely self-induced.

Moving forward a number of years and much significant psycho-spiritual work and breakthroughs later, an expansion has occurred within me in relation to sexuality and that very strict part of the psychic structure in me. (That may be obvious, heh.) In addition, there has been an expansion in me relating to that same strict part of me and spirituality/consciousness. I suspect this is why the convergence of sexuality and spirituality holds such appeal for me.

Thus it seems to me that when I see the message that sex “before marriage” (I have expounded here before about the lack of appreciation in me of a seemingly automatic contingence of sex and marriage and thus won’t go on about it now, but I will reiterate that I find that consideration significant) is somehow “wrong” being propagated, I have felt what almost seems like a fierce protectionism. I feel like I don’t want anyone to have to feel the way I did — that s/he would be extremely punished for examining, exploring, respecting one of the most personal and inherent aspects of living experience. (It is, after all, how we exist.)

The recognition in me now is that within a religious context, the idea of sex being a sin is rooted in the centuries-old postulation of a fundamental separation between the body and the spirit — with the body being the pathway to “sin.” Said view perceives “fleshly desires” — of which sex is decidedly one of the most prominent — as something to be transcended in the name of and in order to access the “spirit.”

In my perspective this claim is fundamentally flawed in its adherence to a view of separation/compartmentalization within the human being. Wholeness is, to me, congruent with spiritual realization. The “divide and conquer” mentality within ourselves inevitably leads away from this and results in myriad inauthenticities and suffering. When something as intrinsic and fundamental as sexuality is repressed or vilified, it creates a substantial internal rift. Repression does not equal obliteration.

Further, the expansion I have experienced in this area seems to have offered a clear perception that rather than simply being “acceptable,” sexuality is sacred. (Of course on some level everything is.) Being so fundamental and connected to life and humanity offers it enormous potential as a pathway to consciousness/the Divine.

A while back I saw $pread Magazine ask in a call for submissions for its “Positions” section for 350 words on “Why Sex Work Is NOT a Sin.” I originally read the question as why sex is not a sin (apparently forgetting the point of the magazine, heh), but really, it seems to me the answer is about the same. I much appreciated the question, and I did not find it hard to answer.

(Of course, I would first clarify that the word “sin” is not really in my vocabulary at this time. Much like the word “God,” the degree to which it seems to have been skewed in general public perception is such that it has been rendered to me either virtually meaningless or significantly misleading/exploitative. Basically the understanding in me is that the concept of “sin” as postulated in religious terms really does not exist. Particular acts are not inherently a “sin.” As Eckhart Tolle says, “[Y]our state of consciousness is primary, all else secondary.” [p. 266 A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.] It is not the act but the place/consciousness/energy from which it comes.)

Anyway, for me, wanting and choosing to enter sex work in a number of capacities stemmed directly from the above-described realizations. Sex work seemed an opportunity to enhance others’ sexual experience and/or appreciation, and given that I did not want others to feel the same searing effects of repression that I had, I felt delight at the idea/chance to offer my service in this way. I have continued to find the frequent societal perception that seems to completely miss this heartbreaking.

Professionally speaking, of course, in a capitalistic society citizens are expected to provide a product or service to society and be financially compensated for it. Considering sex work a “sin” simply because of the financial aspect, therefore, seems to me hypocritical, unreasonable, and unfair.

Sexuality, as every aspect of our existence, may be offered, held, and lived from the beauty and authenticity of wholeness; when done so, it is generative as such. It follows that sex work, devoting one’s personal form of service to embodying and offering this understanding of sexuality on a professional level, holds immense power as a healing, beautifying, loving force on both tangible and intangible levels.

Incidentally, I consider writing about sex consciously/from this place of authenticity a form of such service as well. I feel much gratitude for the realizations I have experienced regarding sexuality, the opportunity to have offered sexual service professionally, and for others offering similar service with respect for sexuality. In no way, by the way, do I mean to postulate that any of the above discovery in me was/is a finite process and has been all worked out; on the contrary, such Work is lifelong.

I dedicate myself to it once again.

Love,
Emerald

“Even scientists say everything is just light, not created/destroyed, but eternally bright…”
-Live “They Stood Up for Love”

Filed under: Sex+ Society, Sex+ Spirituality, Sex+ Work |10 Comments

Perception, Profession, and Decriminalization

I have encountered a few things lately to which I have felt a pressing response from a perspective of supporting the decriminalization of prostitution (which I do). One of them was this letter to the editor in the New York Times in response to an article about proposed legalization of prostitution in the United States. (Note: I support decriminalization rather than legalization of prostitution — descriptions of the distinction may be found here).

Author of the letter Norma Ramos states in regard to prostitution:

”It is the world’s oldest oppression that stems from the world’s oldest inequality — that of women.”

When I read this the first response in me was, could it be that this is more about sex than about women? More on that in a bit.

The letter says later:

”By all accounts, the countries that have legalized prostitution have become magnets for human trafficking and other crimes.”

This is not backed up with evidence in the letter, and I would challenge it to be. Statistics may of course be skewed and biased and repeatedly have been in social research, so I myself hesitate to utilize them as prominent support for presenting the perspective in me, but I will point out that this assertion of “all accounts” seems erroneous to me. Further, it’s not as though strict criminalization laws around prostitution have been free of criticism.

In reference to the prostitution laws of “Sweden, Norway and most recently Iceland” the author says,

”Their law is premised on the recognition that women and girls are human beings and therefore cannot be bought or sold.”

In a prostitution exchange if one does choose to take the perspective that a body is being “sold,” its selling is relinquished upon the end of the exchange (which is why this description does not resonate with me). If one wants to claim that a body is “sold” for a certain period of time, that makes more sense to me, though the vernacular still doesn’t resonate particularly with me. The body is a part of what is being presented as the professional exchange of a service. How exactly is this different from the professional offerings/exchanges of actors, models, and athletes, for example?

Could it be, again, that this is about sex and certain underlying biases or associations we have with it?

I feel as though I would appreciate it if this were at least recognized. There seems to be an automatic “prostitution is bad, wrong, exploitative, harmful” perspective throughout virtually the entirety of society that seems to me to rest on little more than, “well, that’s just the way it is.” Why? Why is sex so much different from all the other myriad services that aren’t even blinked at when they are commodified and used in the context of (rampant) capitalism?

In response to accusations that prostitution has often been surrounded by “vice,” why does it not seem to occur to us that rather than somehow just inherently being surrounded by violence, crime, drugs (which by the way I see as something else associated with crime and an underground world because of its criminalized status rather than some given “attraction” it has to them), etc., prostitution has in modern times been surrounded by such things because it has been criminalized and thus pushed to an underground status in society where those partaking and participating in it are not apt to interact with law enforcement and other protective agencies in its context? Why is it that we assume these associations came first, so the practice was criminalized, rather than that perhaps the practice was criminalized for some other reason(s), and as it was ostracized into an illegal profession, crime and other facets of the underground society rose around it?

If one doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of doing sex for a job, fine. It is not as though decriminalizing prostitution suddenly eliminates anyone’s right to not engage in it. I would not dream of saying that anyone who doesn’t want to have sex be a job for him or her should do so.

Which seques into the subject of sex trafficking. It seems to me that criminalizing prostitution does not seem at all a sensible way to help eradicate nonconsensual sex work; that indeed, criminalizing the whole trade simply forces it underground where it is even more difficult to examine and discern who is really in a situation of abuse and in need of assistance. How does outlawing consensual action help to more easily discover abusive activity within the same working area of action? It also calls for law enforcement to devote time and resources similarly to discovering and pursuing situations in which abuse is occurring and situations in which individuals are working freely and willingly since the law, due to the nature of the work being performed, conflates these two occurrences.

Interestingly, while human trafficking occurs in work areas other than prostitution, the focus has continued to seem almost exclusively on sex trafficking in the media and societal conversation. Why is this? Or more to the point at the moment, why are we not having a conversation threatening to outlaw all manual labor, farm/outdoor labor, and domestic work since these things have been found to be areas in which trafficking has occurred as well? Once again it seems fundamentally the question has to do with sex, sex work, and underlying perceptions about it rather than perhaps the seemingly obvious issue of the abhorrence of nonconsensual sex work.

None of that is said with any intention on my part to undermine what I see as the crushingly heartbreaking and appalling nature of sex trafficking (or indeed any human trafficking). The idea of not finding nonconsensual sex work or nonconsensual sex of any kind harrowing and abhorrent is unequivocally foreign to me.

In closing, it happens that the indefatigable Dr. Dick recently interviewed for his new series “Sex EDGE-U-cation” the Modern Hooker (whose identity remains anonymous since the profession in which she works is illegal). Modern Hooker’s description is not a glossed-over, glamorized account of prostitution — some of it is not pretty, indeed. It seemed to me a straightforward, open discussion about her work, and I deeply appreciated it as such. I had in fact appreciated this interview so much that I was wanting to mention it here anyway, and since it happens I am writing this post right now, this seems an exemplary opportunity to do so. Thank you again to both Dr. Dick and Modern Hooker for this beautiful offering.

Namaste.

Love,
Emerald

“But tasting a bit of freedom is quickly turning this happy hooker into a defiant whore.”
-Juliet November, in an article entitled “Hooking Without Crooking”

Filed under: Sex+ Government, Sex+ Society, Sex+ Work |7 Comments