The Green Light District

Repression, Sexuality, Service, and Gratitude

Since I spent the first part of this week traveling, I spent last night catching up on blog reading (yes, I do plan to catch up on email eventually as well …no really). One of the things I ran across was P. S. Haven’s latest post, in which he provides a novella excerpt that I found quite captivating and poignant (as well as beautifully written). I found it poignant because it involved a young woman who (apparently) felt that sex was against what God wanted and that it was sinful to be involved in it.

And I remember feeling that way.

I know a number of people who grew up in strict religious households and rebelled against that inside themselves when they became adults (or even a little before). That was actually not my experience. I was, indeed, told that “sex was for marriage” and that having sex before one was married was against the rules according to “God.” But it wasn’t pounded into me or emphasized much — it was just presented as basically a given, the “way it is,” and then not talked about very much in my family or experience or even the church I attended.

It didn’t need to be. I will spare anyone reading this a detailed explanation of historical psychic structure patterns in me and suffice to say that there was a configuration of fear, constraint, and self-deprivation already evident in me that took this “rule” as it was presented and solidified it into something that I was required to follow. The pressure to not have sex before I was married after that first message that it was a rule according to “God” came almost entirely from a very strict part of the psychic structure in me — which is to say, it was almost entirely self-induced.

Moving forward a number of years and much significant psycho-spiritual work and breakthroughs later, an expansion has occurred within me in relation to sexuality and that very strict part of the psychic structure in me. (That may be obvious, heh.) In addition, there has been an expansion in me relating to that same strict part of me and spirituality/consciousness. I suspect this is why the convergence of sexuality and spirituality holds such appeal for me.

Thus it seems to me that when I see the message that sex “before marriage” (I have expounded here before about the lack of appreciation in me of a seemingly automatic contingence of sex and marriage and thus won’t go on about it now, but I will reiterate that I find that consideration significant) is somehow “wrong” being propagated, I have felt what almost seems like a fierce protectionism. I feel like I don’t want anyone to have to feel the way I did — that s/he would be extremely punished for examining, exploring, respecting one of the most personal and inherent aspects of living experience. (It is, after all, how we exist.)

The recognition in me now is that within a religious context, the idea of sex being a sin is rooted in the centuries-old postulation of a fundamental separation between the body and the spirit — with the body being the pathway to “sin.” Said view perceives “fleshly desires” — of which sex is decidedly one of the most prominent — as something to be transcended in the name of and in order to access the “spirit.”

In my perspective this claim is fundamentally flawed in its adherence to a view of separation/compartmentalization within the human being. Wholeness is, to me, congruent with spiritual realization. The “divide and conquer” mentality within ourselves inevitably leads away from this and results in myriad inauthenticities and suffering. When something as intrinsic and fundamental as sexuality is repressed or vilified, it creates a substantial internal rift. Repression does not equal obliteration.

Further, the expansion I have experienced in this area seems to have offered a clear perception that rather than simply being “acceptable,” sexuality is sacred. (Of course on some level everything is.) Being so fundamental and connected to life and humanity offers it enormous potential as a pathway to consciousness/the Divine.

A while back I saw $pread Magazine ask in a call for submissions for its “Positions” section for 350 words on “Why Sex Work Is NOT a Sin.” I originally read the question as why sex is not a sin (apparently forgetting the point of the magazine, heh), but really, it seems to me the answer is about the same. I much appreciated the question, and I did not find it hard to answer.

(Of course, I would first clarify that the word “sin” is not really in my vocabulary at this time. Much like the word “God,” the degree to which it seems to have been skewed in general public perception is such that it has been rendered to me either virtually meaningless or significantly misleading/exploitative. Basically the understanding in me is that the concept of “sin” as postulated in religious terms really does not exist. Particular acts are not inherently a “sin.” As Eckhart Tolle says, “[Y]our state of consciousness is primary, all else secondary.” [p. 266 A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose.] It is not the act but the place/consciousness/energy from which it comes.)

Anyway, for me, wanting and choosing to enter sex work in a number of capacities stemmed directly from the above-described realizations. Sex work seemed an opportunity to enhance others’ sexual experience and/or appreciation, and given that I did not want others to feel the same searing effects of repression that I had, I felt delight at the idea/chance to offer my service in this way. I have continued to find the frequent societal perception that seems to completely miss this heartbreaking.

Professionally speaking, of course, in a capitalistic society citizens are expected to provide a product or service to society and be financially compensated for it. Considering sex work a “sin” simply because of the financial aspect, therefore, seems to me hypocritical, unreasonable, and unfair.

Sexuality, as every aspect of our existence, may be offered, held, and lived from the beauty and authenticity of wholeness; when done so, it is generative as such. It follows that sex work, devoting one’s personal form of service to embodying and offering this understanding of sexuality on a professional level, holds immense power as a healing, beautifying, loving force on both tangible and intangible levels.

Incidentally, I consider writing about sex consciously/from this place of authenticity a form of such service as well. I feel much gratitude for the realizations I have experienced regarding sexuality, the opportunity to have offered sexual service professionally, and for others offering similar service with respect for sexuality. In no way, by the way, do I mean to postulate that any of the above discovery in me was/is a finite process and has been all worked out; on the contrary, such Work is lifelong.

I dedicate myself to it once again.

Love,
Emerald

“Even scientists say everything is just light, not created/destroyed, but eternally bright…”
-Live “They Stood Up for Love”

Filed under: Sex+ Society, Sex+ Spirituality, Sex+ Work |10 Comments

Perception, Profession, and Decriminalization

I have encountered a few things lately to which I have felt a pressing response from a perspective of supporting the decriminalization of prostitution (which I do). One of them was this letter to the editor in the New York Times in response to an article about proposed legalization of prostitution in the United States. (Note: I support decriminalization rather than legalization of prostitution — descriptions of the distinction may be found here).

Author of the letter Norma Ramos states in regard to prostitution:

”It is the world’s oldest oppression that stems from the world’s oldest inequality — that of women.”

When I read this the first response in me was, could it be that this is more about sex than about women? More on that in a bit.

The letter says later:

”By all accounts, the countries that have legalized prostitution have become magnets for human trafficking and other crimes.”

This is not backed up with evidence in the letter, and I would challenge it to be. Statistics may of course be skewed and biased and repeatedly have been in social research, so I myself hesitate to utilize them as prominent support for presenting the perspective in me, but I will point out that this assertion of “all accounts” seems erroneous to me. Further, it’s not as though strict criminalization laws around prostitution have been free of criticism.

In reference to the prostitution laws of “Sweden, Norway and most recently Iceland” the author says,

”Their law is premised on the recognition that women and girls are human beings and therefore cannot be bought or sold.”

In a prostitution exchange if one does choose to take the perspective that a body is being “sold,” its selling is relinquished upon the end of the exchange (which is why this description does not resonate with me). If one wants to claim that a body is “sold” for a certain period of time, that makes more sense to me, though the vernacular still doesn’t resonate particularly with me. The body is a part of what is being presented as the professional exchange of a service. How exactly is this different from the professional offerings/exchanges of actors, models, and athletes, for example?

Could it be, again, that this is about sex and certain underlying biases or associations we have with it?

I feel as though I would appreciate it if this were at least recognized. There seems to be an automatic “prostitution is bad, wrong, exploitative, harmful” perspective throughout virtually the entirety of society that seems to me to rest on little more than, “well, that’s just the way it is.” Why? Why is sex so much different from all the other myriad services that aren’t even blinked at when they are commodified and used in the context of (rampant) capitalism?

In response to accusations that prostitution has often been surrounded by “vice,” why does it not seem to occur to us that rather than somehow just inherently being surrounded by violence, crime, drugs (which by the way I see as something else associated with crime and an underground world because of its criminalized status rather than some given “attraction” it has to them), etc., prostitution has in modern times been surrounded by such things because it has been criminalized and thus pushed to an underground status in society where those partaking and participating in it are not apt to interact with law enforcement and other protective agencies in its context? Why is it that we assume these associations came first, so the practice was criminalized, rather than that perhaps the practice was criminalized for some other reason(s), and as it was ostracized into an illegal profession, crime and other facets of the underground society rose around it?

If one doesn’t feel comfortable with the idea of doing sex for a job, fine. It is not as though decriminalizing prostitution suddenly eliminates anyone’s right to not engage in it. I would not dream of saying that anyone who doesn’t want to have sex be a job for him or her should do so.

Which seques into the subject of sex trafficking. It seems to me that criminalizing prostitution does not seem at all a sensible way to help eradicate nonconsensual sex work; that indeed, criminalizing the whole trade simply forces it underground where it is even more difficult to examine and discern who is really in a situation of abuse and in need of assistance. How does outlawing consensual action help to more easily discover abusive activity within the same working area of action? It also calls for law enforcement to devote time and resources similarly to discovering and pursuing situations in which abuse is occurring and situations in which individuals are working freely and willingly since the law, due to the nature of the work being performed, conflates these two occurrences.

Interestingly, while human trafficking occurs in work areas other than prostitution, the focus has continued to seem almost exclusively on sex trafficking in the media and societal conversation. Why is this? Or more to the point at the moment, why are we not having a conversation threatening to outlaw all manual labor, farm/outdoor labor, and domestic work since these things have been found to be areas in which trafficking has occurred as well? Once again it seems fundamentally the question has to do with sex, sex work, and underlying perceptions about it rather than perhaps the seemingly obvious issue of the abhorrence of nonconsensual sex work.

None of that is said with any intention on my part to undermine what I see as the crushingly heartbreaking and appalling nature of sex trafficking (or indeed any human trafficking). The idea of not finding nonconsensual sex work or nonconsensual sex of any kind harrowing and abhorrent is unequivocally foreign to me.

In closing, it happens that the indefatigable Dr. Dick recently interviewed for his new series “Sex EDGE-U-cation” the Modern Hooker (whose identity remains anonymous since the profession in which she works is illegal). Modern Hooker’s description is not a glossed-over, glamorized account of prostitution — some of it is not pretty, indeed. It seemed to me a straightforward, open discussion about her work, and I deeply appreciated it as such. I had in fact appreciated this interview so much that I was wanting to mention it here anyway, and since it happens I am writing this post right now, this seems an exemplary opportunity to do so. Thank you again to both Dr. Dick and Modern Hooker for this beautiful offering.

Namaste.

Love,
Emerald

“But tasting a bit of freedom is quickly turning this happy hooker into a defiant whore.”
-Juliet November, in an article entitled “Hooking Without Crooking”

Filed under: Sex+ Government, Sex+ Society, Sex+ Work |8 Comments

Let’s Talk About Sex — Part 2

Part 2 of my interview with the spectacular Dr. Dick is up on his site now! If you missed the first part of our interview last week, all Dr. Dick’s podcasts are archived on his site, and last week’s edition may be found here.

In this second half of our interview we talk more about erotica, writing, and linguistic/cultural/philosophical questions in relation to sex. As I said last week, I really had a blast talking with him.

In this installment I also read from my story “What We Do,” featured in the upcoming Swing! anthology, to be released soon!!

Thank you again for listening, and thanks again so much to the fabulous Dr. Dick!

Love,
Emerald

“People might misunderstand what we’re saying, you know?, no but that’s a part of life, come on, let’s talk about sex baby…”
-Salt-N-Pepa “Let’s Talk About Sex”

Filed under: Sex+ Art, Sex+ Spirituality, Sex+ Work, Sex+ Writing: Mine |3 Comments

Let’s Talk About Sex

I am really, really delighted to announce my interview with the eminent sexologist Richard Wagner, a.k.a. Dr. Dick of Dr. Dick’s Sex Advice! Dr. Dick interviewed me for his podcast series called The Erotic Mind, in which he interviews erotic artists, and I was honored to take part.

The first half of our interview may be heard online now! (Dr. Dick’s podcasts may also be found on iTunes under “Dr. Dick’s Sex Advice.”) Our full interview encompasses a number of topics about erotica and writing in a cultural, spiritual, and artistic context. I had much fun talking with him! This first part that’s up now focuses on how/when I became a writer of erotica, my pen name, personal history, etc.

In addition, I also read from my story “With Random Precision,” found in the anthology Love Notes: A Music & Sex Anthology published by Ravenous Romance.

I enormously enjoyed working with Dr. Dick, and I encourage you to check out this illuminating interview with him at the Swing! website. I myself find his dedication remarkable, and I personally thank him for his service in the field of sexuality.

Thanks for listening, and thanks again to the magnificent Dr. Dick!

Love,
Emerald

“Let’s talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd, it keeps coming up anyhow, don’t decoy, avoid, or make void the topic, ’cause that ain’t gonna stop it…”
Salt-N-Pepa “Let’s Talk About Sex”

Filed under: Sex+ Art, Sex+ Spirituality, Sex+ Work, Sex+ Writing: Mine |8 Comments

Service

Over the weekend I attended a retreat for an inner work group of which I feel indescribable gratitude to be a part.

United States President-Elect Obama has invited citizens to attend to service to the community (however that is defined — local, national, world) today, Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in the United States.

At one point during the retreat, as the above was mentioned, we were invited to speak about what we perceived to be any specific service we performed in the world.

I said that I wrote about sexuality and aimed to do so with consciousness, as I aim to do everything, and that whether it was ostensibly about the overlap of sexuality and spirituality (which sometimes it is) or not, the aim in me is to bring consciousness to a subject that seems to have been victim of particular distortion and unconsciousness in the collective/societally. Thus I aim to consciously offer respect and reverence to sexuality as a beautiful and inherent part of us and of life.

This is how I have approached all work in the sex industry and all erotica writing I have done, as well as all that I continue to do.

And I truly consider that a service. This post is not about me and any accolade for what I do — it is about recognizing the service of appreciating sexuality. Sex/sexuality is not a frivolous indulgence separate from the rest of life that may be engaged in or attended to when “important” things are not going on or needing attention — it is one of those things.

I offer it deep reverence, gratitude, and recognition of its utter sacredness as such.

Love,
Emerald

“You wrap your legs around me, all I can do to try and breathe, let me breathe so that I, so we can go together…love will lead us, all right, love will lead us, she will lead us, can you hear the dolphin’s cry?, see the road rise up to meet us, it’s in the air we breathe tonight, love will lead us, she will lead us…”
-LIVE “The Dolphin’s Cry”

Filed under: Sex+ Spirituality, Sex+ Work, Sex+ Writing: Mine |2 Comments

Welcome to The Green Light District!

Welcome to my new author blog/site, and thanks for visiting! As is briefly stated in the sidebar to the right, this site is mainly an author site dedicated to publishing/writing news, but it also contains commentary on social/political/spiritual/other matters as related to sex (and really, what isn’t related to sex?). In particular, since I am a strong proponent as such, sex workers’ rights will likely come up from time to time.

On that note, though this site is brand new, I have uploaded the preivious blog posts from my MySpace page relevant to both writing and the aforementioned topics. Posts are labeled by categories listed on the left and have been back-posted under the dates they were originally posted on MySpace.

Commenting is open to anyone; as of yet, you do not need to register or provide your email address (we’ll see if that continues — i.e., how it goes in spamworld once the site is active), and you have the option of posting anonymously. Also, as the site is brand new, if you experience or observe any glitches, please feel free to email me and let me know.

Thanks again for coming by, and welcome anytime!

Xoxox,
Emerald

“Round here we’re never sent to bed early, and nobody makes us wait, round here we stay up very very very very late…”
-Counting Crows “Round Here”

Filed under: Sex+ Art, Sex+ Government, Sex+ Spirituality, Sex+ Work, Sex+ Writing: Mine |4 Comments

International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers

While I’m a little late in the day with this, I want to post an acknowledgment of the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers, which is today, December 17. As originally conceived by Annie Sprinkle in 2003, this day has been named so to commemorate sex workers who have experienced violence in their line of work or lost their lives as a result of it, especially amidst society’s woeful historic propensity to misunderstand such violence as either less tragic than violence against those who are not sex workers or something simply “to be expected” in such a line of work — a harshly erroneous conception. Correlatively, it is also a day to support the rights of sex workers as professionals and as people, both of which have historically been denied by various governments (and society).

I offer my support to my fellow professionals who work or have worked in all areas of the sex industry, thanking them for their service, acknowledging their rights, reiterating my advocation for the decriminalization of all areas of the industry, and deeply wishing for their health and safety.

With love and support for all,
Emerald

“We are outraged that those who provide [professional sexual] services . . . carry the burden of sexual shame and punishment in our society while the very people who use our services are creating and enforcing legislation that violates our human rights. . . . There is a great deal of expertise from our communities defining safe work environments, identifying abusive situations and establishing a culturally appropriate community-based response to these problems.”
-From the list of demands proposed by Sex Workers Outreach Project USA in a letter to President-Elect Obama, 2008

Filed under: Sex+ Freedom/Rights, Sex+ Government, Sex+ Society, Sex+ Work |No Comments