Archive for Sex+ Writing: Mine
One of My Favorite Cities, with One of My Favorite Communities
The Strip in Las Vegas!
The short version is, I had an extraordinary and amazing time in Las Vegas at the Erotic Authors Association conference. But it is the long version that I have taken weeks to post here, and it thus follows shortly. I want to say first, though, that there are a number of great write-ups already out there from others who attended the conference (and blogged about it a lot more promptly than I, obviously)—they have been compiled by the utterly lovely Jade, whom I had the pleasure of meeting during the weekend, on her blog, Pieces of Jade. And do also check out the article the lovely Lynn Comella wrote about the conference for her column at the Las Vegas Weekly!
Okay, on to my own account…the truth is, I have felt exceptionally busy lately in a way I’ve found somewhat draining and disorienting. I moved in with Rick Write at the end of July, and since then I have left for previously-scheduled out of town trips five times. I have enjoyed and appreciated them, to be sure—it’s just that I’m also trying to unpack and organize and get a house in order, and the commute I had to one of the jobs I hold and some of the other places I regularly visit has approximately doubled, making some days include about four hours of driving.
So the fact is that right before I left for Las Vegas for the EAA conference, I felt some degree of trepidation. I didn’t really want to go out of town again, even though I felt excitement about the conference, and I was looking for an opportunity to just stay in one place for a while and put together my part of the house in which I’m now living. That’s one reason my trip was scheduled to be so short—I spent almost exactly 48 hours in Las Vegas. (Vegas, incidentally, is one of my favorite places I’ve ever been, so despite feeling what I just described, it did feel strange to not jump at the chance to spend extended time there!)
The degree to which I enjoyed the EAA conference blew any and all such concerns straight out of my consciousness. From the second I arrived, I was reminded of my intense love affair with Las Vegas, and as soon as I stepped foot in the hotel after a cab ride with a driver I found utterly delightful, I got to go up and see the extraordinary Tess Danesi, who had generously offered to let me share her room. Seeing her (and being her roommate for the weekend) was a complete delight, and my experience of the conference never fell below that introductory level of loveliness the entire the time I was there. To be candid, incidentally, I have tended to feel some wariness about sharing living quarters with people, and I experienced no such discomfort at all rooming with Tess. I could not have asked for a more enchanting lodging arrangement. :)
On that note, the thing I probably enjoyed most about the conference was one of the main reasons I went—which was to meet and interact with in person so many of the writers I’ve known or met online. I met or got to see loads of people with whom I was delighted to spend time, including (but not limited to as I will probably forget some) Andrea Dale—who is even more awesome in person than she is online—Aisling Weaver, Jean Roberta, Jolie du Pre, K D Grace, Sharazade, and Kathleen Bradean—who, of course, was in charge of this weekend-long shindig and is due much credit for her organizing and leadership in bringing it to fruition (big thanks Kathleen!).
I met some people I had not known or interacted with previously, like Siobhan Muir (with whom I look forward to doing an interview in a couple months when Best Erotic Romance comes out!), the aforementioned Jade Melisande, and Remittance Girl. And I got to see people I’d already had the pleasure of meeting in person and was thrilled to see again, like Tess, Rachel Kramer Bussel, D. L. King, Susana Mayer, Lara Riscol, and Lynn Comella. All of which was worth making the trip in and of itself!
In particular, in addition to the beautiful experience of sharing a room with Tess, whom I found a truly stellar roommate, I got to spend extended time, or more than I usually have before, with Rachel (Kramer Bussel), which was a real treat (ha—that reminds me of her story “Vegas Treat”!). And at the closing cocktail reception I approached Graydancer, whom I’d found intriguingly compelling during the panel of which he’d been a part and also while he had tied up Sharazade during the reception. Meeting him was one of the more extraordinary and memorable experiences I’d had in a while, and I feel gratitude to have had the opportunity.
Also at the closing reception on Saturday, I met the legendary M. Christian. I was pleased to have the opportunity to share with him that his was one of the first names I remember encountering and appreciating years ago when I discovered the Erotica Readers and Writers Association (Ashley Lister‘s is the other one) and that I had particularly appreciated his offering on how to write a cover letter. I was pleasantly shocked when he pulled out a copy of his book How to Write and Sell Erotica and graciously offered it to me! I began reading it on the airplane home and so appreciate this generous gesture on his part.
Susana Mayer, proprietor of The Erotic Literary Salon in Philadelphia (the destination of my second travel trip in September) brought the Salon on tour in Las Vegas, and she and Rachel Kramer Bussel co-hosted the respective reading event at the Erotic Heritage Museum—an environment which seemed to me exquisite for an erotic reading. More than 20 authors read for up to five minutes each from their or others’ work, and it was one of my favorite events of the weekend. Huge thanks to Susana and Rachel for organizing and to all who read! Below is a video of my reading from the evening, of an edited version of my story “Cougar,” which is published at the Good Vibrations Magazine (thanks to Tess for taping me!):
I did not know until I was already in Las Vegas that SlutWalk Las Vegas was occurring the Saturday night we were there. I was thrilled by this for a number of reasons: 1) I support SlutWalk; 2) it meant I would get to attend it with fabulous people whom I adore; and 3) when SlutWalk DC happened back in August, I was out of town and thus didn’t get to go. So I was delighted by the opportunity to get to attend one somewhere, this somewhere happening to be one of my favorite cities!
I profoundly enjoyed SlutWalk even though I had to skip out early to catch a cab along the Strip to go back to our hotel to pack up to leave for the airport (my flight back was a redeye Saturday night to Sunday morning). Despite that, though, I feel so much gratitude for having had the opportunity to attend SlutWalk in Las Vegas in the magnificent and extraordinary company of Tess, Rachel, Lara Riscol, and Susana Mayer.
For having felt the least bit of hesitance about going the day my flight to Vegas was to leave, the delight, energy, and gratitude I felt upon exiting the conference (and the city) was as striking to me as the glitz and brilliance of the Strip itself. I experienced a particular degree/aura of solidarity at the conference, which I have not infrequently experienced in circles attending overtly and openly to sexuality (I perceived a similar sense of cohesion at MOMENTUM in April). In this case, for me, there was the extra dynamic of being surrounded by mostly writers, something I have also tended to find intangibly resonant.
I felt a strange, pulling sadness as I left Las Vegas that Saturday night. I am not sure exactly why—I suspect there was something more involved than I was conscious of, more than simply the leaving of a city I love and interactions with people I felt profoundly heartened, appreciative, and delighted to meet and/or spend time with. It made sense that I would feel some degree of nostalgia as such, but not quite with the intensity I experienced. I appreciate the simultaneous curiosity and acceptance I feel around that.
At the airport, I tuned my iPod to the album Flamingo by Brandon Flowers, who grew up in Vegas and wrote the album not only about the city but also about the very hotel in which we stayed and after which the album is named. I’ve experienced the tone of that album as complementary to the way I felt, and I listened to it until I was seated on the plane and asked to turn all electronic devices off.
I extend heartfelt thanks to Kathleen Bradean, D. L. King, Jolie du Pre, and all others who helped with the planning and execution of the conference. I thank all who attended, especially those I got to meet, watch present, and/or enjoy spending time with. Last but not least, I extend thanks in general to all the erotica writers I know and love, including those who weren’t at the conference (who were greatly missed!) but with whom I have developed connections I so deeply appreciate and treasure. I love this community so much.
Love,
Emerald
“Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas, give us your dreamers, your harlots, and your sins…”
-Brandon Flowers “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas”
Essensuality in New York City This Saturday!
I am remiss in not having blogged yet about the Erotic Authors Association conference in Las Vegas two weeks ago (seriously, I can hardly believe it was already that long ago)—more about how busy I have felt in that actual post when it gets up, but in the meantime, I want to announce that I’m very excited to be a featured performer at Monica Day‘s Essensuality: An Evening of Erotic Expression this Saturday in New York City! I’ve heard a lot about this event of Monica’s, and I’m honored to be invited to participate.
For the beautiful description and more details about Essensuality, see this page at Monica’s site, and tickets for this Saturday’s Essensuality may be purchased here. The event starts at 9:00 p.m. at the Wow Cafe Theatre at 59 E. 4th Street, New York City. Last I heard, there were still a few coveted spots left for the open mic portion, so any and all interested parties should email Monica at monica at thesensuallife dot com.
There’s a chance I might actually get my post up about Las Vegas before I go, but if not, it will be coming soon afterward. :) In the meantime, if you’re in New York City on Saturday, please stop by and join us for an extraordinary evening at Essensuality!
Love,
Emerald
“Come in closer, oh come feel the love on the inside, electric current in my veins lets me know I’m alive…”
-Sugarland “Wide Open”
Joint Book Party for Obsessed and The Lost This Thursday!
Amongst moving, traveling, and a cold that I feel is quite close to outlasting its welcome (…which I guess it perhaps never had!), I am late in posting this, but I am very excited to be attending the joint book party for Obsessed and The Lost later this week! Specifically, the party is on Thursday, August 25 at Fontana’s in New York City. See the Facebook invite here!
The party, organized by Obsessed editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and Tied Up Events, is celebrating the release of the Obsessed anthology and The Lost by Caridad Pineiro (who wrote the foreward to Obsessed). I and fellow authors Logan Belle and Jennifer Peters will all be reading from our stories in Obsessed, and Rachel will be giving away a number of prizes and bringing, of course, free cupcakes!
I am really looking forward to attending and seeing friends from New York in just a few days! If you find yourself in the area on Thursday, we would love to see you there! :)
Love,
Emerald
“Here I am on the road again, there I am up on the stage, here I go playing star again…”
-Bob Seger “Turn the Page”
A Release at Good Vibrations Magazine!
I am delighted to say that I have a brand new story, “Release,” up at Good Vibrations Magazine today! I am such a fan of Good Vibrations Magazine and continue to find it an honor to be published there amongst the extraordinary bloggers and fellow authors regularly featured on it.
Love,
Emerald
I remember when I first found myself attracted to you, moments after I met you on one of the first trips I made to your city. I almost brushed it off, thinking in perhaps even a condescending way that sexually, you weren’t likely to understand or be willing to give me what I wanted.
The degree to which I was wrong still surprises me. You, who seemed so unlike that outside of sex, so quiet, so polite, so demure—you understood right away. I didn’t even have to explain it to you. I just had to let you know.
-from “Release”
Out Now and Coming Soon! :)
In other news, I am completely thrilled that I will have a story in the forthcoming anthology One Night Only: Erotic Encounters, edited by Violet Blue! I am very excited to be part of this collection and am downright giddy that Violet chose to include my story “City Girl” in it.
The publication (by Cleis Press) date for One Night Only is set right now at January 2012. I haven’t seen the table of contents, so I don’t know who else is in it, but I adore the theme (and the cover!), and I can hardly wait to receive and read it next year!
Yay and yay! ;)
Love,Emerald I expected to feel nervous, anticipated the adrenaline as I stood in Hayden’s bedroom. But as my eyes locked with his as he stood near the foot of his bed, all I felt coursing through me was the unadulterated desire I had felt every time I’d looked at Hayden. My body shuddered as I took a deep breath.
-from “Then” in Obsessed
Best Erotic Romance Just Finalized!
I am so utterly delighted that my story “Honey Changes Everything” will be included in Best Erotic Romance edited by the magnificent Kristina Wright and published by Cleis Press later this year! This is my first time officially working with Kristina, and I am thrilled by the opportunity. :)
In addition, the book has a positively all-star table of contents, and I am ecstatic to be included and so looking forward to reading it!
Best Erotic Romance is available for pre-order now on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Borders, and is scheduled for release December 2011.
Rather than list all the extraordinary authors I’m so delighted to be alongside in this anthology, I’m just going to post the table of contents in its entirety:
edited by Kristina Wright
Wow! :)Introduction: Simply the Best
What Happened in Vegas Sylvia Day
First Night Donna George Storey
Another Trick Up My Sleeve Heidi Champa
Drive Me Crazy Delilah Devlin
Once Upon a Dinner Date Saskia Walker
He Tends To Me Justine Elyot
Guest Services Angela Caperton
Memories for Sale Andrea Dale
Blame It On Facebook Kate Dominic
The Draft Craig J. Sorensen
To Be in Clover Shanna Germain
Honey Changes Everything Emerald (Me!)
Cheating Time Kate Pearce
Our Own Private Champagne Room Rachel Kramer Bussel
Till the Storm Breaks Erobintica
The Curve of Her Belly Kristina Wright
Dawn Chorus Nikki Magennis
Love,
Emerald
-from “Honey Changes Everything”
Announcing The Other Dance!
In 2006 my mother introduced me to a small literary arts-and-nature-focused journal called Heron Dance. I experienced her as saying she suspected it would resonate with me, and she was correct. I have been a subscriber and follower of Heron Dance, which has traversed numerous transitions of format, focus, and personnel at the helm, ever since.
by Rod MacIver
The (both original and current) founder and painter of Heron Dance is Rod MacIver, whom I have mentioned or quoted a few times here at The Green Light District. A year and a half ago I even posted an announcement that he was beginning a new venture, an erotic newsletter to correspond with the nude and erotic paintings he had been doing. Shortly after that announcement, a number of transitions, including with staff, occurred at Heron Dance (a very small company and press), and my understanding was The Other Dance was put on indefinite hold in the face of more pressing business concerns that unexpectedly inhibited the practical embarkment on a new project at the time.
At this time Heron Dance has recently undergone a few transitions again, most notably in ceasing the print publication of its journal and instating an online membership fee (of $2 a month) for daily receipt of written content by Rod (entitled “Reflections of a Wild Artist”—this may still be received once a week for free by signing up here), discounts on the purchase of paintings, and access to certain areas of the website only accessible by members.
One of which will house The Other Dance, the erotic online newsletter Heron Dance is now ready to create and develop as an integral part of its professional offerings. The Other Dance will publish a new edition each Tuesday, featuring one of Rod’s nude or erotic paintings alongisde a piece of erotic fiction.
I am introducing and speaking about this so much because, I am thrilled and honored (and a little stunned!) to say, I have been hired to be the editor of The Other Dance.
Since The Other Dance area is only accessible to members, I will take the liberty to quote here from Rod’s paragraph introducing the venture from its page on the Heron Dance site:
”A common denominator in all of the diverse perspectives Heron Dance has explored over the sixteen years since it was founded is a probing of the boundaries of the human experience. The edges — the edges between wilderness and civilization, the edges in terms of the human search for meaning and in terms of what it means to live a highly-creative life. Delving into human sensuality and sexuality is a natural evolution of that exploration.”
As those familiar with me or my work will know, it has long been an aim of mine to open dialogue around sexuality, ease the collective discomfort our society seems to feel around it, relax the repression of the innate and exquisite phenomenon of the human sexual impulse, and ultimately support the cherishing and respect for this facet of life. Ingredients I see as integral to these aims include self-awareness, contemplation, openness, and love. Since I first heard of it, I have experienced Heron Dance as embodying a respect for and focus on the importance of these qualities as well, and my aim continues as the editor of The Other Dance to be to support the manifestation of these aspects in the context of sexuality.
by Rod MacIver
Before I move into the business side of things, I want to mention that at this time, the publisher is only seeking to publish work by female (or female-identified) authors—and I personally and truly apologize to the numerous beautiful male authors I know and whose work I adore that I won’t (for the time being) get to seek to work with them in this endeavor.
With that said, The Other Dance technically launched May 3, when Rod published a piece he had received last year to officially solidify the creation of The Other Dance. After he got in touch with me a couple weeks ago regarding this endeavor, he wanted to publish an edited version of “Rain Check,” my story from Rachel Kramer Bussel‘s anthology Tasting Her (as I understand it, Rod’s introduction to my work was clicking on the video of my reading said story at In The Flesh in 2008 when he visited my website), and it went live last Tuesday, May 10.
Two days ago, on Tuesday, May 17, the first piece officially published with me as the editor went live: “Strands of Imagination,” by Robin “Erobintica” Sampson! It has been an honor and delight to work with Robin as I take my first steps into this venture, and I offer her my thanks and congratulations. Robin wrote “Strands of Imagination” for one of Alison Tyler‘s flash fiction contests some time ago, and when I presented it to Rod, I experienced him as very in favor of publishing it.
For any female erotica authors reading this, I would likely love to work with you in such a capacity too! :) The Other Dance submissions guidelines may found on the Heron Dance website here, and I plan to submit them to the Erotica Readers and Writers Association call for submissions page as well.
There is a page on the Heron Dance site where reader feedback is posted—and it is not confined to the complimentary. I have had the impression over the years that Rod has received feedback encompassing varying perspectives and levels of appreciation for his offerings throughout the 17-year duration of Heron Dance. As I recall his stating at the time, never did this seem so active as when he first introduced the subject of sexuality to the work he offered to the public and his followers. When I was perusing the feedback page a few days ago, this comment caught my eye:
“Please cancel sending me Heron Dance, after a number of years! I am a published author and enjoyed your readings and paintings, etc., until you got all hepped up about sex. You had a nice, decent, above board periodical, now you have trash just like the next guy.”
While I honor this commenter’s experience and perspective, I feel sadness that the inclusion of discussion about or the mere mention of sexuality would relegate a literary/artistic endeavor to seeming like “trash.” I was a subscriber to Heron Dance when Rod’s transition to sharing and speaking about sexuality occurred, and whether or not one desired to see or be exposed to the subject, I never felt like anything I read seemed like “trash” at all. Granted, I have tended to feel quite receptive of open dialogue about sexuality, but I also truly found what Rod expressed on the subject quite in line with the way I had experienced his sharing in general about art and nature—probing, thoughtful, curious, raw, and sincere.
At the time, I certainly never imagined I would be offered the opportunity to become the first editor of the project into which that orientation would develop: a weekly electronic newsletter created to feature Rod’s erotic/nude paintings alongside written content of an erotic nature.
It is my honor to accept it.
Love,
Emerald
-LIVE “Dance With You”
Then As Now
“But paradise, we found, is always frail; against man’s fear will always fail…”-From the narrated poem in the opening of Dangerous Beauty
The movie is Dangerous Beauty. The screenplay is adapted from the book The Honest Courtesan, a biography by Margaret Rosenthal of Veronica Franco, sixteenth-century Venetian writer/poet and courtesan. Ms. Franco lived, and thus the events in the movie and the time period in which they are contextualized occurred, 450 years ago—a time so far in the distant past it may seem archaic or hard to conceptualize in light of how different human society is now.
Except it’s not. Different, that is. As I finished watching Dangerous Beauty for the first time that day last year, I was struck by how much, on some level, we have not changed.
Now indeed, I will say first that there are things that have on some level shifted or rearranged such that our gender roles, for example, seem less strict, and of course I appreciate that. At this point and in this location on the earth, I have additional options as a woman to survive financially beyond marrying, becoming a nun, or working as a courtesan or prostitute. There are practical ways in which women in many parts of the world have far more opportunities for financial independence now than they did in sixteenth-century Venice. This of course calls for acknowledgement, and I duly extend it. My personal appreciation for such is profound, and to not acknowledge that would be disingenuous and inappropriate.
That withstanding, however, I would argue that throughout our collective civilization, deep-seated and unconscious perceptions and distortions still exist that relegate us in very fundamental ways to the same as we were then. We’re dressed up a little bit differently—but we’re the same. So much so that it’s staggering.
Marriage is still a contract (if in doubt, observe phenomena such as alimony and the state’s having anything to do with whom is “allowed” to marry), and though what we tend to associate with romantic love seems more of a reason to marry now than then, people still feel political, financial, or other reasons to get married. Marriage itself is still expected—monogamy is still the default, the standard for people’s lives in romantic relationship. Affairs still exist, and we still pretend not to acknowledge their prevalence or potential complexity as any invitation to examine the possibility that monogamy and marriage are perhaps not the ideal configurations for all individuals.
“The Church” still inserts itself into public affairs—sometimes via official governments—claiming an esoteric authority and the position to judge the general populace according to the standards it chooses to set. We are still compelled by war. Poverty, disease, populist unrest remain. There is still rampant evidence of nationalism, classism, sexism, and political manipulation. We are still encouraged to follow the rules, whatever they may be, and not question or flout them lest we interrupt the fragile illusion of whatever arbitrary perspective of “reality” our ego-based selves have created and think they feel comfortable with.
In Dangerous Beauty, when the plague begins to run rampant through Venice, the townspeople/collective society turn on what is considered the decadence and indulgence of the city, of which courtesans are perceived to be squarely in the middle. A following of religiously oriented purveyors develops and overtly blames “those who tempt us” with “fornication and carnal practices” for the “God”-inflicted downfall of the republic.
In response to a protest that the Inquisition has appeared in Venice, the doge (presiding figure of the republic at the time) responds, “Fifty-six thousand people are dead. The living want answers. They may be the wrong answers, but they want them just the same.”
To me this line virtually epitomizes that which has not changed in four and a half centuries. Throughout society there are examples of selective intervention in human rights abuses, astounding hypocrisy in application of laws, and scapegoating of cultures, people, entities in order to get “answers” that a part of us finds tolerable internally and/or in response to the cognitive dissonance in us.
What seems most concerning to me about this uncanny similarity to a time centuries ago is not just the clarity with which it seems that we are such a parallel reflection of it but that we do not seem to realize that. We truly think we are different. That things were so primitive then, that they were so inhibited, their roles so strictly defined. We think we are so advanced because we have skyscrapers and spaceships and smartphones. But we still use that technological capacity to create ways to destroy each other and ourselves—which tells me we are not.
It seems obvious to me that despite our apparent advances and some level of progress in social redresses, under the surface the same prejudices, constraints, ignorance, and fear that formed what was seen in sixteenth-century Venice is with us now and still forming the same things. The seemingly obvious things like racism, classism, xenophobia, sexism are outcrops, manifestations, of what has remained the same—which is our ignorance of ourselves. We have not awakened enough to be consistently aware of our true nature. We are not conscious of the unconditional love that is the deepest level of ourselves and the innate oneness of the universe.
Underlying this lack of awareness is the resistance and refusal to examine ourselves, to see that it is what is inside ourselves that may be tormenting us rather than projecting it onto a perceived external. Repression is one of the key ingredients in this phenomenon, and repression of a fundamental instinct—such as, say, the sexual one—is one of this phenomenon’s very bedrocks.
As in the movie, many of the above-described circumstances and the societal responses decrying and attacking them have to do with sex. All over the world, a conservative populace still behaves as though perceived “immorality” around sexuality is or will be the downfall of civilization. “The Church” (represented by fundamentalist perspectives of virtually all major religions) still bewails “fornication and carnal practices” and proclaims our collective suffering “punishment” for a culture steeped in “sin.” These perspectives seem to see open sexuality rather than denouncement, vilification, and repression as dangerous, sinful, and undesirable.
Why would this be? As depicted so beautifully in Dangerous Beauty, sexuality is one of the preeminent paths to love (not just romantic, but love in the universal sense), self-awareness, Divinity, connection, gratitude, openness, and beauty. Then as now, this aspect is so fundamental to us that it instills the kind of fear that has through the ages attracted measures of denouncement, repression, fear, violence, and desperation in the face of truly experiencing and interacting with it because it is so impossibly close to us, so unavoidably reflective of ourselves—we cannot not see ourselves if we are truly and openly acknowledging and examining the sexual impulse within us. It forces us to face ourselves, and to truly do that is something we have found, probably throughout our human existence, excruciatingly difficult to do. Sexuality, our instinctive drive for what it represents, for pleasure and beauty and openness and love, is so close that we must either surrender to it or do everything in our power to control it. Yes, there are measures in between, but the sexual impulse does not give up—it doesn’t have that capacity. No matter how we try to control it, sexuality just is. It’s how we be with it that is the opportunity.
Sexual repression appeared rampant at the time of Dangerous Beauty‘s depiction (and highly encouraged by social structures at that time). It appears rampant to me now (and highly encouraged, perhaps in superficially different ways, by social structures currently). Am I suggesting that a large part of the fear, hatred, and relentless harm we do each other around the world at this time is based, at least in part, on sexual repression?
I am.
At a key point in the film, Veronica Franco’s character states,
“I confess I find more ecstasy in passion than in prayer. Such passion is prayer. . . . I confess I hunger still to be filled and enflamed, to melt into the dream of us, beyond this troubled place—to where we are not even ourselves.”
Those lines gave me chills the first time I watched the movie, and they did again yesterday when I watched it most recently. I would certainly not say that everyone should agree with them and feel the same way—we are all unique and experience things as such. I do wish, though, truly and deeply, that we would see the offering in them and open to discover whatever truth resonates uniquely and authentically within each of us.
It is in that, it seems to me, that true progress lies.
Love,
Emerald
-Adam Lambert “Aftermath”
