Archive for Sex+ Writing: Others’
Expanding Our Reality with Curvy Girls
At a party last Friday night, I had a conversation with a fellow guest about the inevitability of internalizing pervasive attitudes and prejudices of the culture(s) in which we grow up. It seems to me that even if we reject these perspectives intellectually and are aware of their falseness or repugnance, it is unavoidable to have been affected by cultural undercurrents of ingrained perspectives such as sexism, racism, and other disgusting “isms” as we develop. While I could go on and on about how I perceive this phenomenon and feel it is best addressed, that would be rather outside the scope of this post. :) The reason I bring it up here is because I feel perceptions of “fat” and the correlative judgements, associations, and implications one may experience around it signifies one of these areas where the influence of cultural attitudes seems virtually unavoidable.
For example, if I find (my perception of) our mainstream culture’s standards for the shape and form of the human female body fiercely dubious and reject that a large part of a woman’s value is in her body size being comparable to that of a supermodel or that only women who fit that description appear physically beautiful, I can be quite aware of that and proclaim it as such and truly feel that I am sincere in that perception. Yet within the same hour, I can look in the mirror and grimace at some part of my own figure that does not seem to fit into the very standards I just disparaged and feel some sense of shame or inferiority because of it.
It’s possible I’ve actually done those very things. It may also be that I’m not unique as such.
Where do these standards come from? Who upholds them? How can those of us who intellectually reject them still feel affected by them on some level?
Before I talk more about this book in relation to such things, I want to back up and mention something I really liked about this anthology: its aesthetics. The first thing I noticed about Curvy Girls was how gorgeous it is. It has a riveting cover with bold colors and a beautiful design. (I’ll say up front that my only complaint was that I was dismayed as usual to see the tagline “Erotica for Women” appended to the title. As I’ve mentioned before, I find this phrase arbitrary at best, and it seems to me to undermine the potential appeal the book may have to unrestricted audiences.) I even found the inside font beautiful. Add in the charming little black lace pattern at the corners of the first page of each story, and I truly found that the aesthetic loveliness of this volume added to my overall delight with it!
As I have alluded to, I found what was inside magnificent as well. To return to my earlier musings, even if we eschew what seem to be our culture’s prevailing (and increasingly preposterous) standards about how a woman’s body should look—and how it is most beautiful—we still may find them manifesting in our experience, sometimes without our even noticing. Intellectual recognition, alas, is not the same as conscious assimilation.
Which is what I found so refreshing about this book: the stories here embody the understanding of this phenomenon—beyond the intellectual awareness, rejection, analysis of something that can still show up in our subconscious in ways we may not even be aware of. We’re aware of them here. These stories tend to come either from the angle of a larger woman who experiences comfort and contentment about that or from one who struggles with the standards postulated by an abstract society, bringing us as readers face to face with those unconscious judgments and compelling us to confront them from the inside out.
All of which I see as of great value.
These characters are not abstract. And there is no question that the lovers in this book find the protagonists sexy—breathtakingly so in many cases. The overt and often verbal appreciation the protagonists’ admirers have for their beauty mesmerized me in story after story. (I also want to add that I much appreciated the references to condoms in so many of them. Depiction of condom use is an intense preference of mine in fiction, and its inclusion invariably enhanced my appreciation of the story in question.)
I noticed early on that I found many of the stories in Curvy Girls more arousing than I’ve often found erotica. In general, I don’t read written erotica to get off, appreciating it rather because it explores and focuses on one of the areas I find most fascinating in life (sexuality, in case that wasn’t obvious). To be frank, I don’t know why these stories seemed to turn me on so much more than usual. It seemed there was something different about the feel, maybe the energy of them somehow. Did the authors put more into describing the attraction in the context of the theme, making it more arousing for some reason? Did the theme add some element that tended to lead the description to be different? I truly don’t know. I just know that I noticed it, and while I have been contemplating what the reason for it may be, I have not yet put my finger on it.
Regardless, kudos to the authors, I guess. ;) “First Come, First Served” by Lolita Lopez was simply one of the hottest stories I had read in some time. I found the absence of actual intercourse interestingly refreshing, and I felt the author’s capture of the attraction between the characters and the sex that did take place between them was beautifully done. “Decadence,” by Satia Welsh, changed my breathing as I read it—just flipping through it as I was composing this post started to distract me so much I had to put the book down! Nina Reyes elicited a similar effect for me with her “Excuses”; I was nearly driven to reading it one-handed, which I’ve rarely experienced from the written word. And editor Rachel offers “Big Girls Do Cry,” an intense tale of spanking and self-awareness mixed with a burning lust that sparked in me too as I read about yet another male protagonist I’d like to meet myself.
Of course, eroticism is not the only thing these stories have going for them. Lush prose, delightful entertainment, and skillful portrayals of the headiness and intensity of connection abounded, all of which I appreciated every bit as much as the heat. “Before the Autumn Queen” by Angela Caperton comprised some of the most captivating and resplendent description I had read in a while, and I was duly enchanted throughout. I was not surprised to find “Wenching” by Justine Elyot both sizzlingly hot and seamlessly rendered, not to mention amusingly entertaining. I have experienced most of what I have read by Ms. Elyot that way, and this delight of a story proved no exception. I found “In the Early Morning Light” by Kristina Wright a powerfully affecting narrative from the point of view of a brand-new mother and the bodily changes that have corresponded as such. The honesty and complexity of this tale still strike me now as I recall it. The book ends beautifully with Donna George Storey‘s “Happy Ending,” an uplifting tale of bodily and personal empowerment that makes its title fitting indeed.
While this book may be fiction, it seems to me that as with much fiction, it is reflective of some part of reality. Despite various media’s constant bombardment to the contrary, there are obviously individuals who perceive this way, who see non-supermodel-shaped bodies as individually beautiful and unique, and to whom it would make no more sense to fetishize such than it would captivating eyes or luxurious hair (not that those things can’t be experienced as fetishes, but fetishization has not commonly been perceived as their only potential attractiveness, which has sometimes seemed the case with larger-sized women).
On the back of this book, the extraordinary Jaclyn Friedman states, “This lush collection won’t just quicken your pulse, it’ll widen your definition of sexy.” I dare say I agree with her. The actualization in these stories, far beyond some kind of detached commentary or analysis, reaches the reader (or this reader anyway) on the same level, serving indeed the potential purpose of truly expanding one’s perspective—a feat neither small nor always easy. I truly commend the authors in this collection for doing striking and beautiful justice to its theme.
If you so desire (and of course, I highly recommend it!), you can pick up or download your copy of Curvy Girls on Amazon now. And you can follow the rest of the Curvy Girls virtual book tour from the book’s website right here. Thanks so much for stopping by, and happy reading! :)
Love,
Emerald
“But he thinks she’s as pretty as a picture when she wipes down tables in her apron strings, and sometimes he forgets a chorus ’cause she’s shining like a beauty on the silver screen…”
-Joe Diffie “Bigger Than the Beatles”
Open, Fearless, and Needed: Best Sex Writing 2012
That an anthology series called Best Sex Writing exists thrills me. Truly. There are few topics I feel the human species would benefit more from exploring, questioning, and opening to. The fact that those things all seem particularly lacking makes me even more excited to see a book—in this case, Best Sex Writing 2012, edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel and published by Cleis Press—devoted to inviting and displaying them in a multi-authored tapestry.
Between the pages of Best Sex Writing 2012 is rumination, information, and investigation of a society displaying, as I see it, a severe misguidedness around the book’s title subject. The fascinating exposition of “Sex, Lies, and Hush Money” by Katherine Spillar outlines for us (just in case anyone has forgotten) the corruption and hypocrisy that is alive and well in our political systems—largely resulting from, I would argue, our continued repression, distortion, and shame around sex.
I found Radley Balko’s “You Can Have Sex with Them; Just Don’t Photograph Them” painful to read (which is not a negative comment—it was one of the pieces I appreciated most in the book); my sense of wanting to do something to help put a stop to the literal insanity it described was activated from its first page. The seemingly small but important victory of seeing it recognized and reported on assuaged my distress a tiny bit. The suspense in the powerful, heartbreaking “An Unfortunate Discharge Early in My Naval Career” by Tim Elhajj was breathtaking to me, as was the reminder that “being [accused of being] a homosexual” in the United States military could be the basis of such suspense.
In “The Careless Language of Sexual Violence,” Roxanne Gay offers a profound elucidation I found so extraordinary I don’t know how to even sum it up here. It struck me deeply as something that needed to be said, and I’m grateful to Ms. Gay for saying it.
I had already read (and recommended here) Thomas Roche‘s “Men Who ‘Buy Sex’ Commit More Crimes: Newsweek, Trafficking, and the Lie of Fabricated Sex Studies.” As I said then, I found it incisive, comprehensive, and illuminating of the issues the piece was about and responding to. (A one-sentence case in point: “Trafficking continues because of corruption and poverty, not because there are no laws against it.”)
There are also what Rachel describes in her introduction as “more personal takes on sex [...] that aren’t about making a point so much as exploring what real-life sex is like in all its beauty, drama, and messiness.” To me, three of the most moving of this kind of piece were Joan Price‘s “Grief, Resilience, and My 66th Birthday Gift,” a striking slice of memoir interwoven with, as the title suggests, experiences of grief, vitality, love, and the beauty of connection—including with ourselves; Hugo Schwyzer‘s raw, insightful (and indeed rather hot in parts) “I Want You to Want Me,” which, while very personal, lays out a commentary on gender socialization I much appreciated; and “Losing the Meatpacking District: A Queer History of Leather Culture” by Abby Taller, which relays a compelling, poignant portrait of a time and place that is no longer.
All three of these pieces compelled me in a different way, enlisting empathy and softheartedness as they opened a part of themselves onto the page and paradoxically shone a light on universal levels of sexual—and human—experience.
The combination of this kind of personal memoir alongside the investigative exposition, irreverent humor, and incisive commentary also found in this book makes for a vastly varied volume of entertainment and thought provocation. The few things in the anthology that didn’t resonate with me did not decrease my overall appreciation of it; I indeed encountered perspectives that diverged from mine, and I see that as one of the values of a book like this. Certainly I was engaged and even energized by the eloquent, captivating articulations of perspectives in alignment with mine—but those that weren’t invited me to discern and articulate why, an opportunity which is not lost on me.
Ultimately, this book exemplifies something it seems to me we could use a lot more of: open, fearless discussion of sexuality in which we talk about it like we do so many other topics—with consideration, enthusiasm, respect, curiosity, interest, reverence, scrutiny, and maturity…rather than the degrees of pubescence and oppression I have found so woefully pervasive in our culture. Rachel asserts in her introduction that “the more we talk about the many ways sex moves us, the more we work toward a world where sexual shame, ignorance, homophobia, and violence are diminished.” I couldn’t agree more, and I thank the the editor, contributors, and publisher of Best Sex Writing 2012 for offering their time and attention to doing so.
Love,
Emerald
“Did you read the news today, they say the danger’s gone away, but I can see the fire’s still alight, burning into the night…this is the world we live in, and these are the names we’re given, stand up and let’s start showing just where our lives are going to…”
-Disturbed “Land of Confusion”
Flash Fiction Frenzy!
But, because (sincerely—I am not just saying this!) the creativity and fearlessness of the participants as well as how welcoming I’ve found Siobhan inspired me, when I found myself with an idea upon reading this week’s prompt, I followed through and wrote something. Then posted it. I think this is the first time I’ve done something of that nature online, and I thank Siobhan for being a lovely host and all the participants alongside me this week for offering their extraordinary work for all to see.
Siobhan herself acted as judge this week, and I am honored (and blushing) that she awarded my entry, “Give,” an honorable mention. All the entries may be read here, and I do recommend doing so. Siobhan announces the winners here.
Many thanks to Siobhan and all the lovely writers I have had the delight to become (virtually) acquainted with over the last week. Funny the opportunities joining Twitter can seem to open up! ;)
Love,
Emerald
-from “Give”
e[lust] #34
I have a post included in this month’s e[lust], a project organized by the lovely Dangerous Lilly. If you’re unfamiliar with e[lust] and would like an introduction, or if you would like to submit, see this page for information. Thanks for visiting!
Love,
Emerald
Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #35 ? Start with the rules, check out the schedule and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates! Note: Wondering why there is no Top 3 this edition? Read the latest Editor’s Note to find out why, and what you can do to help prevent this from happening in the future.
~ Featured Posts (Picked by Lilly) ~
The Ultrasound and the Fury- I cried softly and my partner moved closer to the table so I could lay my cheek against him for comfort and support. Then they brandished a wand and explained they needed to take pictures inside of me. And told him to get out.
Vagina in the Wild – Adventures in Pantslessness – They are self-cleaning and self-lubricating. They are a wonderfully well designed body part that speaks of feminine power and beauty. They leave wet spots on the couch.
~ e[lust] Editress ~
The Ultimate Guide to Silicone Sex Toys — With Metis Black of Tantus, Inc. – I picked the brain of Metis Black, the fabulous woman behind Tantus Inc, makers of some very awesome silicone sex toys. Get your sex geek on and find out some myths and facts about silicone sex toys!
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!
Kink & Fetish
As Is Custom
Consent and negotiation
Fishnets and Spanking and Sleep
In room entertainment
Ladies’ Night: My First Time at an All-Womens’ Sex Party
Learn the rope of knots: Overhand Knot
slapping…drinking…and other wacky fun…
That Moment
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
An Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh
Erotic-On Me
Eyes Wide Smut
Strangers on a Train
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
Bondage Insecurities
Cunnilingus 101
Getaway Sex vs Everyday Sex
Gifts from Lover’s
Innies, Outties & 3-Ways
Im 35 and My Mum Can Hear Me Having Sex
Mono or Poly
Mmm, the kissage!
Never Pinch a Sadist #3: Relationship Rules
Primary? Alpha?
Safewords in the Real World
Shields
The long distance thing
The Next Evolution — Swinging-Open Marriage-Polyamory
Erotic Writing
A Good Day and Sexzy Night
50 Ways to Fuck Your Lover
Blissful Candlelit Climax
Cunny Honey
Easy Like Sunday Mornings
Fingertips
first date
In which… I go to my first party (Part I)
I’m the Slut
How It All Started
Mount’n Dew
Our Sex Diary (Part Two!)
Rain
Rendezvous
Some Truth…About Cocksucking
Sensuality
She Takes Control
The Chair – The Execution
The Beast
That Familiar Maddening Thrill
The Importance of (Emotional and Physical) Self-Love
Vignette 2: Traffic Stop
Working Out
Whore’s Mouth
Flowers, Precipitation, and Arousal: Women in Lust
And there it is, really—one of the most salient considerations about sexuality I have observed in the aura of our culture. It has often seemed to me that sex is viewed not only as a “separate” part of life, disconnected from the rest of it, but that also this “separate” part is not nearly as important as “real” life considerations and may easily and reasonably be one of the first things to be dismissed or dropped by the wayside on the quest of, as they say, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. How absurd. As befits its title, lust could be a motivator, even an overwhelming one, in the pages of Women in Lust. But this book was not simply filled with indulgent, un-contextualized references to this intriguingly powerful urge. There were additonal emotions, contexts, and considerations amidst any sense of lust—even if lust ended up overpowering them. Sometimes, though, it did not—and there was nothing less hot about those times. On the contrary, these were complex characters, so the story was often not just about unconsidered obedience to a sexual drive—Women in Lust included discerning, aware choosing where lust was concerned. To me this was epitomized in Brandy Fox’s “Unbidden.” I was fascinated by the considerable journey that unfolded in “Bite Me” and the engaging turn(s) of events in “Ode to a Masturbator” (Lucy Hughes and Aimee Herman, respectively). And the book closed with “Comfort Food” (Donna George Storey), one of my favorite stories by one of my favorite writers—I’ll be honest and say I looked forward the whole book to reading it! As with a luscious dessert, the anticipation was justly rewarded. :) I myself experienced a kind of climactic trifecta toward the end of reading this anthology. It began with “Orchid” (Jacqueline Applebee), which I found not only scorchingly hot and quite delightful but also hilarious, which was of course a treat. (Truly, I laughed out loud more than once while reading it.) “Orchid” was followed by “Cherry Blossom” (Kayar Silkenvoice), which continued the extraordinary momentum I was experiencing with its gorgeous imagery and intricate depictions of the narrator and her lust interest. After “Rain,” by Olivia Archer, which was next, I took a break. I’ve been known to do that while reading a collection of stories after I’ve found a story so beautiful, so striking and affecting in a breathtaking mosaic of ways that I don’t want to continue yet (even if the next story is by one of my favorite authors, Justine Elyot!) because what I just read has possessed my consciousness such that I know it needs time to process, to settle, to land—to have that space to occupy unencumbered the notice it has just seamlessly commanded. I was still remembering “Rain” hours after I put the book down. I was reminded while reading Women in Lust that for me, erotica really isn’t just about fantasy, and the truth is, how I feel about it is not even determined by whether it turns me on or not. I find sex such a compelling subject that I simply don’t require arousal to appreciate it artistically—sometimes very deeply. I realize I may be in the minority about that, and of course that is fine—I’m not suggesting everyone’s perspective should mirror mine! It simply occurred to me as I was reading that erotica, to me, is not necessarily writing that turns me on. Rather I see erotica as writing that approaches sex/sexuality not with gaze averted and posture defensive or salacious but rather with the same curiosity and truth with which it approaches any other aspect of humanity/experience/life. It lets sex do what it does, whatever feelings, acts, contexts may be involved. If it does that with ease, curiosity, and not with any professed—implicitly or explicitly—”literary,” “moral,” or other formulated standard that intrudes upon the place sexuality takes in life, it seems, to me, erotic writing.* Often, this does turn me on not by virtue of what specific sex acts are described or included but from the core of the connection, the desire, that emerges from the words on the page. I have historically felt no sexual desire for women, for example, but the imagery and pull I experienced reading “Cherry Blossom” altered my breathing and indeed aroused me in a way different from the way I seek when I’m simply looking to get off—arousing my being, my senses, my awareness, not just my genitals and a base urge I have historically easily reached orgasm via the stimulation of. It’s not that one is better than the other. I just find them different. And erotica is usually something I seek to (and have) appreciate(d) beyond simple sexual stimulation (for the pursuit of which I have usually used video porn). Historically I have not postulated an inherent difference between “pornography” and “erotica.” I still don’t. This has mainly been because the concept has almost always seemed to contain judgment—arbitrary and unhelpful judgment, as far as I’m concerned—with the “pornography” label frequently postulated to be at least inferior and at most inherently unfavorable. (I’ll add that it’s seemed to me that most of the time, if it has occurred to someone to ask, this is likely the case.) I subscribe to no such perspective, so I have not found making a distinction between the two words a compelling endeavor. If, for me, there personally is one, this is it—pornography is what I use (and love) solely to get off on; while erotica is the unabashed exploration of sex I find fascinating and affecting. It doesn’t mean the sex itself has to be or is unabashed—it is the exploration of it, the sharing the author is offering, that I wish to be unencumbered by virtue of its subject. The subject being sex, sexuality, and its incumbent, myriad, contexts. Sometimes, of course, it happens that there is overlap: I find a story simulating on numerous levels and discover the pleasant effect that it has turned me on as well. When I returned to Women in Lust, it happened that I experienced this with a vengeance. Following “Rain” in the table of contents is Justine Elyot’s “The Hard Way.” I’ve loved Justine’s work, so I wasn’t surprised that I loved her story, but I will say I think this was one of my favorites of hers that I’ve read. And right after “The Hard Way” was K D Grace’s mind-blowingly hot “Strapped,” which really almost took my breath away. It was clever, beautiful, and held the considerable appeal for me of depicting a scenario I wouldn’t have predicted would turn me on or perhaps even interest me—and unequivocally doing both. I am sincerely glad I took the time to read Women in Lust, which contained stories I found delightful, intriguing, compelling, and breathtaking. In places, in fact, this anthology included some of the most impressive work I have experienced in the erotica genre. It has been my pleasure to share this ode to what I loved about it. On that note, once again the schedule and attendant links for the rest of the blog tour may be found here, and the book is of course for sale on Amazon as well as at this list of retailers found on the book’s website. Thanks so much for joining me at my stop on the Women in Lust virtual book tour! Love,“Either way, their lust is a valued part of their lives, not a pesky afterthought or a to-do list item on ‘date night.’”
Emerald
*If it describes actual act(s) of harm that happen to involve sexual contact, that to me is not an act of sex but something different, encapsulating other aspects of experience that do not to me seem focused on sexuality; thus, such for me would not fall into the category I described.
“I wonder if you feel the same way I do, I can see it in your eyes, I entice you…”
-Toya “I Do”
One of My Favorite Cities, with One of My Favorite Communities
The Strip in Las Vegas!
The short version is, I had an extraordinary and amazing time in Las Vegas at the Erotic Authors Association conference. But it is the long version that I have taken weeks to post here, and it thus follows shortly. I want to say first, though, that there are a number of great write-ups already out there from others who attended the conference (and blogged about it a lot more promptly than I, obviously)—they have been compiled by the utterly lovely Jade, whom I had the pleasure of meeting during the weekend, on her blog, Pieces of Jade. And do also check out the article the lovely Lynn Comella wrote about the conference for her column at the Las Vegas Weekly!
Okay, on to my own account…the truth is, I have felt exceptionally busy lately in a way I’ve found somewhat draining and disorienting. I moved in with Rick Write at the end of July, and since then I have left for previously-scheduled out of town trips five times. I have enjoyed and appreciated them, to be sure—it’s just that I’m also trying to unpack and organize and get a house in order, and the commute I had to one of the jobs I hold and some of the other places I regularly visit has approximately doubled, making some days include about four hours of driving.
So the fact is that right before I left for Las Vegas for the EAA conference, I felt some degree of trepidation. I didn’t really want to go out of town again, even though I felt excitement about the conference, and I was looking for an opportunity to just stay in one place for a while and put together my part of the house in which I’m now living. That’s one reason my trip was scheduled to be so short—I spent almost exactly 48 hours in Las Vegas. (Vegas, incidentally, is one of my favorite places I’ve ever been, so despite feeling what I just described, it did feel strange to not jump at the chance to spend extended time there!)
The degree to which I enjoyed the EAA conference blew any and all such concerns straight out of my consciousness. From the second I arrived, I was reminded of my intense love affair with Las Vegas, and as soon as I stepped foot in the hotel after a cab ride with a driver I found utterly delightful, I got to go up and see the extraordinary Tess Danesi, who had generously offered to let me share her room. Seeing her (and being her roommate for the weekend) was a complete delight, and my experience of the conference never fell below that introductory level of loveliness the entire the time I was there. To be candid, incidentally, I have tended to feel some wariness about sharing living quarters with people, and I experienced no such discomfort at all rooming with Tess. I could not have asked for a more enchanting lodging arrangement. :)
On that note, the thing I probably enjoyed most about the conference was one of the main reasons I went—which was to meet and interact with in person so many of the writers I’ve known or met online. I met or got to see loads of people with whom I was delighted to spend time, including (but not limited to as I will probably forget some) Andrea Dale—who is even more awesome in person than she is online—Aisling Weaver, Jean Roberta, Jolie du Pre, K D Grace, Sharazade, and Kathleen Bradean—who, of course, was in charge of this weekend-long shindig and is due much credit for her organizing and leadership in bringing it to fruition (big thanks Kathleen!).
I met some people I had not known or interacted with previously, like Siobhan Muir (with whom I look forward to doing an interview in a couple months when Best Erotic Romance comes out!), the aforementioned Jade Melisande, and Remittance Girl. And I got to see people I’d already had the pleasure of meeting in person and was thrilled to see again, like Tess, Rachel Kramer Bussel, D. L. King, Susana Mayer, Lara Riscol, and Lynn Comella. All of which was worth making the trip in and of itself!
In particular, in addition to the beautiful experience of sharing a room with Tess, whom I found a truly stellar roommate, I got to spend extended time, or more than I usually have before, with Rachel (Kramer Bussel), which was a real treat (ha—that reminds me of her story “Vegas Treat”!). And at the closing cocktail reception I approached Graydancer, whom I’d found intriguingly compelling during the panel of which he’d been a part and also while he had tied up Sharazade during the reception. Meeting him was one of the more extraordinary and memorable experiences I’d had in a while, and I feel gratitude to have had the opportunity.
Also at the closing reception on Saturday, I met the legendary M. Christian. I was pleased to have the opportunity to share with him that his was one of the first names I remember encountering and appreciating years ago when I discovered the Erotica Readers and Writers Association (Ashley Lister‘s is the other one) and that I had particularly appreciated his offering on how to write a cover letter. I was pleasantly shocked when he pulled out a copy of his book How to Write and Sell Erotica and graciously offered it to me! I began reading it on the airplane home and so appreciate this generous gesture on his part.
Susana Mayer, proprietor of The Erotic Literary Salon in Philadelphia (the destination of my second travel trip in September) brought the Salon on tour in Las Vegas, and she and Rachel Kramer Bussel co-hosted the respective reading event at the Erotic Heritage Museum—an environment which seemed to me exquisite for an erotic reading. More than 20 authors read for up to five minutes each from their or others’ work, and it was one of my favorite events of the weekend. Huge thanks to Susana and Rachel for organizing and to all who read! Below is a video of my reading from the evening, of an edited version of my story “Cougar,” which is published at the Good Vibrations Magazine (thanks to Tess for taping me!):
I did not know until I was already in Las Vegas that SlutWalk Las Vegas was occurring the Saturday night we were there. I was thrilled by this for a number of reasons: 1) I support SlutWalk; 2) it meant I would get to attend it with fabulous people whom I adore; and 3) when SlutWalk DC happened back in August, I was out of town and thus didn’t get to go. So I was delighted by the opportunity to get to attend one somewhere, this somewhere happening to be one of my favorite cities!
I profoundly enjoyed SlutWalk even though I had to skip out early to catch a cab along the Strip to go back to our hotel to pack up to leave for the airport (my flight back was a redeye Saturday night to Sunday morning). Despite that, though, I feel so much gratitude for having had the opportunity to attend SlutWalk in Las Vegas in the magnificent and extraordinary company of Tess, Rachel, Lara Riscol, and Susana Mayer.
For having felt the least bit of hesitance about going the day my flight to Vegas was to leave, the delight, energy, and gratitude I felt upon exiting the conference (and the city) was as striking to me as the glitz and brilliance of the Strip itself. I experienced a particular degree/aura of solidarity at the conference, which I have not infrequently experienced in circles attending overtly and openly to sexuality (I perceived a similar sense of cohesion at MOMENTUM in April). In this case, for me, there was the extra dynamic of being surrounded by mostly writers, something I have also tended to find intangibly resonant.
I felt a strange, pulling sadness as I left Las Vegas that Saturday night. I am not sure exactly why—I suspect there was something more involved than I was conscious of, more than simply the leaving of a city I love and interactions with people I felt profoundly heartened, appreciative, and delighted to meet and/or spend time with. It made sense that I would feel some degree of nostalgia as such, but not quite with the intensity I experienced. I appreciate the simultaneous curiosity and acceptance I feel around that.
At the airport, I tuned my iPod to the album Flamingo by Brandon Flowers, who grew up in Vegas and wrote the album not only about the city but also about the very hotel in which we stayed and after which the album is named. I’ve experienced the tone of that album as complementary to the way I felt, and I listened to it until I was seated on the plane and asked to turn all electronic devices off.
I extend heartfelt thanks to Kathleen Bradean, D. L. King, Jolie du Pre, and all others who helped with the planning and execution of the conference. I thank all who attended, especially those I got to meet, watch present, and/or enjoy spending time with. Last but not least, I extend thanks in general to all the erotica writers I know and love, including those who weren’t at the conference (who were greatly missed!) but with whom I have developed connections I so deeply appreciate and treasure. I love this community so much.
Love,
Emerald
“Welcome to fabulous Las Vegas, give us your dreamers, your harlots, and your sins…”
-Brandon Flowers “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas”
Joint Book Party for Obsessed and The Lost This Thursday!
Amongst moving, traveling, and a cold that I feel is quite close to outlasting its welcome (…which I guess it perhaps never had!), I am late in posting this, but I am very excited to be attending the joint book party for Obsessed and The Lost later this week! Specifically, the party is on Thursday, August 25 at Fontana’s in New York City. See the Facebook invite here!
The party, organized by Obsessed editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and Tied Up Events, is celebrating the release of the Obsessed anthology and The Lost by Caridad Pineiro (who wrote the foreward to Obsessed). I and fellow authors Logan Belle and Jennifer Peters will all be reading from our stories in Obsessed, and Rachel will be giving away a number of prizes and bringing, of course, free cupcakes!
I am really looking forward to attending and seeing friends from New York in just a few days! If you find yourself in the area on Thursday, we would love to see you there! :)
Love,
Emerald
“Here I am on the road again, there I am up on the stage, here I go playing star again…”
-Bob Seger “Turn the Page”
As I See It
Fellow erotica author Shanna Germain posted on her blog yesterday a response to a recent article in the New York Times magazine. The article was about the author Nicholson Baker, who has penned, among other things, fiction of an erotic nature. Shanna, for her part, has called on those who also write erotic fiction to post a picture, if we so desire, that flouts the author’s opening description:
“Nicholson Baker does not look like a dirty-book writer. His color is good. His gaze is direct, with none of the sidelong furtiveness of the compulsive masturbator.”
Overall I found the exposition on Mr. Baker rather interesting. However, there were things I interpreted about the tone and implications from the article’s author (Charles McGrath) that I did not appreciate. Shanna quotes the above opening lines. In addition, I took exception to the following:
“What kind of person dreams up this stuff? It’s as funny as it is filthy and breathes new life into the tired, fossilized conventions of pornography in a way that suggests a deep, almost scholarly familiarity with the ancient tropes.”
Hmmm. Does it seem so hard to imagine someone who appreciates contemplation devoting his/her/their attention to the arcane subject of sexuality? As though, oh, the subject held some kind of significance or interest to the species or something?…
And:
“As Rosenthal pointed out, Baker is no ordinary, adult-bookstore pornographer. In addition to what might be called his sex trilogy, he is the author of six other novels, none of them racy in the least.”
This might not be meant this way, but the way I read that is as though it should elicit surprise or astonishment that someone who devotes attention at times to the subject of sex could also then feel drawn to and expound on other subjects in other ways with other tones. This, of course, would presumably apply to almost all adults outside an artistic context.
I feel less incensed now than when I first read the piece, but I do feel the article is loaded with what seem to me shallow assumptions about the artistic exploration of sexuality, especially coupled with other artistic exploration (as though those who write or express artistically about sex would not dream of or have the capacity to express similarly about other subjects). Truly, are we not past this kind of ignorance, pubescence, prejudice, or whatever may account for these kinds of seemingly un-nuanced or, as Shanna said, uninformed perceptions?
Here’s a gaze for you, Mr. McGrath:
Emerald “In libraries and railway stations, in books and banks, in the pages of history…I recognize myself in every stranger’s eyes…”
-Roger Waters “5:06 AM (Every Stranger’s Eyes)”
