Hold This Space
Once again, it is December 17—the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers.
My hope was and is to blog about this more here, but I have a graduation party to attend tonight for a friend of mine who has just finished law school, and I don’t have much time now before I have to leave to travel there. I did not want to let this day go by, however, without acknowledging the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers here, so even though this post is not as extensive or complete as I wanted it to be (I may add more/finish it later), I offer reverent recognizance of this day as first proclaimed by Annie Sprinkle in 2003. I have had my red candle burning as I’ve been getting ready tonight, and I take a moment now to breath consciously in honor of the recognizance of this day, in reverence for all who have been involved in the intersection of sex work and violence, and in a wish for awakening for the same (including perpetrators) and for us all.
I also want to share this quote I encountered last night in a SWOP-Chicago press release:
“Sex workers are not targeted because sex work is inherently dangerous. Sex workers are targeted because perpetrators know prostitutes are afraid of law enforcement and won’t seek the aid of law enforcement until it’s too late. They are targeted because of the stigma surrounding sex work. This stigma is constantly regenerated in the way politicians, end-demand advocates, and media representatives talk about prostitution.”
Blessings and love to all.
Love,
Emerald
-Collin Raye “Not That Different”
Recommended Reading #77: Politics, Pt. III

“Disappointed Doesn’t Cut It Anymore: A Mother’s Rebuttal of President Obama’s Plan B Politics” by Kate Stewart (Reproductive Rights, United States Public Policy, Health and Body, Parenting, Youth) 12/8/11
I wholly agree with this, and indeed it brought up many of the same points that occurred to me when I heard the news of United States Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius’s overrule of the FDA approval of making Plan B One Step available without a prescription regardless of age—it was not just anger with the decision and choices that were made but also deep concern that an administration I have tended to appreciate (most certainly compared to the last one) had taken this action that literally reminded me of something the Bush administration would do. The idea that I feel in a position to make that comparison makes me cringe as well as feel stunned. This article really points out some of the ways and reasons I feel concerned, and I appreciate the author’s articulation as such.
“A Young Doctor’s Response to President Obama’s Plan B Failure: Where Is the Scientific Integrity?” by Dr. Megan Evans (Reproductive Rights, Health and Body, Youth, United States Public Policy) 12/11/11
This speaks as well to things that occurred to me as I was still reeling in shock at Secretary Sebelius’s decision: specifically, when I read of President Obama’s expression of support for her decision, I was thoroughly unimpressed by the invocation of “11-year-old” girls having access to the drug right on the shelves at drugstores with the apparent concern of what might happen if they don’t know how to use it correctly. Um, perhaps the fact that an 11-year-old has apparently had unprotected sex is of more concern—and keeping her from accessing this medicine if that’s the case is perhaps not the most sensible action in that context to take?? Would we prefer she get pregnant?? Further, might it be that there are numerous drugs on shelves in drugstores that an 11-year-old might not know how to take correctly but yet does indeed have access to whenever he/she/they finds him/her/themselves in a drugstore? I felt so disgusted by this obvious absurdity encompassed by the President’s statement I hardly knew what to do with myself. This piece, I feel, expresses well much of what occurred to me.
Speech by The Very Rev. Dr. Katherine Hancock Ragsdale (Reproductive Rights, Sexual Orientation, United States Public Policy, Sociology) 1/24/10
This strikes me as not an easy piece. I am unequivocally pro-choice and supportive of sexual freedom. There were things in this piece that hadn’t occurred to me, and things I read to which I did not know my response right away. (I will qualify that I do not much like the word “God” and would not myself choose to use it where she does.) That is one reason I find this piece so powerful. I recommend this as reading in the spirit of appreciating the contemplation-provoking content I saw in it. To invite or evoke contemplation rarely seems undesirable to me. I’d like also to mention that I happen to know the Reverend Dr. Katherine Hancock Ragsdale (I’ve always loved the sound of her full title and name) personally and, during the time period in which I interacted with her, found her one of the more brilliant and inspiring individuals with whom I’ve had the privilege to be acquainted.
Recommended Reading #76: Questions and Examination, Pt. II

“Does Religion Hurt Your Sex Life (Too?)?” by David Foster (Religion, Sex and Culture, Gender Equality, Psychology, Youth, Sexuality Education) 11/9/11
I don’t know if I have anything to add to this. It’s the kind of thing that immediately reminds me, with a rush of gratitude and resonance as I read it, why I started the “Recommended Reading” feature here at The Green Light District.
“What we can learn from this..” by Ken Followell (Abuse, Self-Awareness, Psychology) Undated
I find this piece sobering but sensitive…it touches on why I don’t feel a fan of the current “Sex Offender Registry” system and frankly feel it is desperate way for us to collectively feel more comfortable because it is indeed very hard and confounding to face what I interpret this article as suggesting, which is that most sex offenders are known (and often trusted) to those against whom they perpetrate abuse. I see this piece as neither sensationalistic nor indulgent in any way, and I appreciate the tone I do see as well as the content. Healing to us all.
“More Musings On #OWS” by Miss Maggie Mayhem (Politics, Economics, Psychology, Sociology) 11/15/11
I find this piece hard to “sum up” or even respond to coherently right after reading it (which I just have). The richness of information and insight it seems to offer feels almost overwhelming as far as doing so, and I simply recommend reading it.
Slowly but Surely…?
That is how I feel (punctuation included!) about my integration into the social media scene, lol. I have finally created a Facebook author page as of today. Such is something I have quite hesitated to do, as it feels uncomfortably…conceited, I guess, to me. But the recommendations of colleagues and the recognition that I could use it to announce things I’ve tended not to trumpet on my personal Facebook page have finally convinced me of the practicality of having one. :)
If you are on Facebook and would like to, you may “Like” my author Facebook page here (facebook.com/EmeraldAuthor).
Thank you!
(And yes, I figure I will get on Twitter eventually…I’ll announce it here if/when I do!)
Love,
Emerald
“I can’t live my life always worried about ‘what if,’ ’cause what if I die tomorrow, then I never even lived…”
-Plain White T’s “What If”
Best Erotic Romance Is Out, and An Interview About My Story!
Best Erotic Romance, edited by Kristina Wright and published by Cleis Press, has been released! It’s not available on Kindle yet, but the print version is in stock now at Amazon, via the publisher, and of course at numerous other retailers.
Love,
Emerald
-from “Honey Changes Everything”
Recommended Reading #75: Relationship, Pt. II

“Before Your Next Fight, Read This” by Daniel Shapiro (Non-sex-related, Psychology, Self-Awareness) 10/2006
I love the emphasis on empathy in this offering, and the offering in its entirety strikes me as resonant and powerful. It also seems filled with self-awareness, which I appreciate. Overall, the title, as farfetched as it may sound, actually seems to me a fair suggestion!
“A Revolutionary Relationship” by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Non-monogamy, Sex and Culture, Psychology) 11/30/04
Like Rachel, I feel pretty blown away by Ms. Dodson’s offerings here, and the perspective she offers seems so important to me, if only to invite awareness of self-love (and it’s un-overstatable importance, as far as I’m concerned) and an alternative to the monogamy-as-standard/default perception that seems (still!) so pervasive in contemporary (Western, at least) culture.
“Relocation…? Bonus.” by Mollena (Relationship, Monogamy, Self-Awareness) 10/6/11
I love—and found downright mesmerizing—this contemplative offering from Mollena, especially since it so clearly outlines and expresses the internal process and self-awareness it encompassed. I also personally appreciate the reminder (as I interpreted it) about how beautiful some people experience monogamy as and why and how they feel drawn to it. It reminds me how obvious it seems to me that honoring oneself, the expression of others’ preferences and perspective, and the uniqueness of each situation and connection are the cornerstones of—perhaps all that is really important in—relationship.
Recommended Reading #74: Parenting, Pt. III

“I’m Proud That My Mom Got Arrested” by Amelia McDonell-Parry (Non-sex-related, Activism, Sociology, Politics) 10/4/11
I found this a moving, compellingly-written account of a daughter’s perception of her mother in the context of a larger picture about activism and United States public policy and, as a quote in the article calls it, fundamental infrastructure. I agree that the point of the article is not to comment or persuade about said protest or circumstances; nonetheless, I found the implications intrinsic to the context powerful. Overall I found this a beautiful and poignant piece.
“Respect the ‘No’” by Marlo Gayle (Youth, Consent, Bodily Autonomy) 11/11/11
While the message of this may seem obvious, I agree with the author that, “As a culture, we treat children as community property.” What I interpret as being stated in this short piece strikes me as an important recognition and offering.
“Raising a Strong-Voiced Girl” by Lynne Marie Wanamaker (Non-sex-related, Psychology, Self-Awareness, Youth) 1/18/09
I have little to add to his. On a personal level, I felt virtually speechless (pre-verbal) when I finished it, so saying something about it doesn’t feel forthcoming…. There is much I appreciate here in terms of self-awareness and the relevance of that to parenting. I especially herald the perspective on which I perceive this article to be based of one’s child’s full humanity—that they are not simply small extended versions of the parents but entire autonomous beings of their own. The delineation as such of “mid-wifing the child’s creation of itself” versus wanting the child to be “good/obedient” here strikes me deeply.
Flowers, Precipitation, and Arousal: Women in Lust

And there it is, really—one of the most salient considerations about sexuality I have observed in the aura of our culture. It has often seemed to me that sex is viewed not only as a “separate” part of life, disconnected from the rest of it, but that also this “separate” part is not nearly as important as “real” life considerations and may easily and reasonably be one of the first things to be dismissed or dropped by the wayside on the quest of, as they say, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. How absurd. As befits its title, lust could be a motivator, even an overwhelming one, in the pages of Women in Lust. But this book was not simply filled with indulgent, un-contextualized references to this intriguingly powerful urge. There were additonal emotions, contexts, and considerations amidst any sense of lust—even if lust ended up overpowering them. Sometimes, though, it did not—and there was nothing less hot about those times. On the contrary, these were complex characters, so the story was often not just about unconsidered obedience to a sexual drive—Women in Lust included discerning, aware choosing where lust was concerned. To me this was epitomized in Brandy Fox’s “Unbidden.” I was fascinated by the considerable journey that unfolded in “Bite Me” and the engaging turn(s) of events in “Ode to a Masturbator” (Lucy Hughes and Aimee Herman, respectively). And the book closed with “Comfort Food” (Donna George Storey), one of my favorite stories by one of my favorite writers—I’ll be honest and say I looked forward the whole book to reading it! As with a luscious dessert, the anticipation was justly rewarded. :) I myself experienced a kind of climactic trifecta toward the end of reading this anthology. It began with “Orchid” (Jacqueline Applebee), which I found not only scorchingly hot and quite delightful but also hilarious, which was of course a treat. (Truly, I laughed out loud more than once while reading it.) “Orchid” was followed by “Cherry Blossom” (Kayar Silkenvoice), which continued the extraordinary momentum I was experiencing with its gorgeous imagery and intricate depictions of the narrator and her lust interest. After “Rain,” by Olivia Archer, which was next, I took a break. I’ve been known to do that while reading a collection of stories after I’ve found a story so beautiful, so striking and affecting in a breathtaking mosaic of ways that I don’t want to continue yet (even if the next story is by one of my favorite authors, Justine Elyot!) because what I just read has possessed my consciousness such that I know it needs time to process, to settle, to land—to have that space to occupy unencumbered the notice it has just seamlessly commanded. I was still remembering “Rain” hours after I put the book down. I was reminded while reading Women in Lust that for me, erotica really isn’t just about fantasy, and the truth is, how I feel about it is not even determined by whether it turns me on or not. I find sex such a compelling subject that I simply don’t require arousal to appreciate it artistically—sometimes very deeply. I realize I may be in the minority about that, and of course that is fine—I’m not suggesting everyone’s perspective should mirror mine! It simply occurred to me as I was reading that erotica, to me, is not necessarily writing that turns me on. Rather I see erotica as writing that approaches sex/sexuality not with gaze averted and posture defensive or salacious but rather with the same curiosity and truth with which it approaches any other aspect of humanity/experience/life. It lets sex do what it does, whatever feelings, acts, contexts may be involved. If it does that with ease, curiosity, and not with any professed—implicitly or explicitly—”literary,” “moral,” or other formulated standard that intrudes upon the place sexuality takes in life, it seems, to me, erotic writing.* Often, this does turn me on not by virtue of what specific sex acts are described or included but from the core of the connection, the desire, that emerges from the words on the page. I have historically felt no sexual desire for women, for example, but the imagery and pull I experienced reading “Cherry Blossom” altered my breathing and indeed aroused me in a way different from the way I seek when I’m simply looking to get off—arousing my being, my senses, my awareness, not just my genitals and a base urge I have historically easily reached orgasm via the stimulation of. It’s not that one is better than the other. I just find them different. And erotica is usually something I seek to (and have) appreciate(d) beyond simple sexual stimulation (for the pursuit of which I have usually used video porn). Historically I have not postulated an inherent difference between “pornography” and “erotica.” I still don’t. This has mainly been because the concept has almost always seemed to contain judgment—arbitrary and unhelpful judgment, as far as I’m concerned—with the “pornography” label frequently postulated to be at least inferior and at most inherently unfavorable. (I’ll add that it’s seemed to me that most of the time, if it has occurred to someone to ask, this is likely the case.) I subscribe to no such perspective, so I have not found making a distinction between the two words a compelling endeavor. If, for me, there personally is one, this is it—pornography is what I use (and love) solely to get off on; while erotica is the unabashed exploration of sex I find fascinating and affecting. It doesn’t mean the sex itself has to be or is unabashed—it is the exploration of it, the sharing the author is offering, that I wish to be unencumbered by virtue of its subject. The subject being sex, sexuality, and its incumbent, myriad, contexts. Sometimes, of course, it happens that there is overlap: I find a story simulating on numerous levels and discover the pleasant effect that it has turned me on as well. When I returned to Women in Lust, it happened that I experienced this with a vengeance. Following “Rain” in the table of contents is Justine Elyot’s “The Hard Way.” I’ve loved Justine’s work, so I wasn’t surprised that I loved her story, but I will say I think this was one of my favorites of hers that I’ve read. And right after “The Hard Way” was K D Grace’s mind-blowingly hot “Strapped,” which really almost took my breath away. It was clever, beautiful, and held the considerable appeal for me of depicting a scenario I wouldn’t have predicted would turn me on or perhaps even interest me—and unequivocally doing both. I am sincerely glad I took the time to read Women in Lust, which contained stories I found delightful, intriguing, compelling, and breathtaking. In places, in fact, this anthology included some of the most impressive work I have experienced in the erotica genre. It has been my pleasure to share this ode to what I loved about it. On that note, once again the schedule and attendant links for the rest of the blog tour may be found here, and the book is of course for sale on Amazon as well as at this list of retailers found on the book’s website. Thanks so much for joining me at my stop on the Women in Lust virtual book tour! Love,“Either way, their lust is a valued part of their lives, not a pesky afterthought or a to-do list item on ‘date night.’”
Emerald
*If it describes actual act(s) of harm that happen to involve sexual contact, that to me is not an act of sex but something different, encapsulating other aspects of experience that do not to me seem focused on sexuality; thus, such for me would not fall into the category I described.
“I wonder if you feel the same way I do, I can see it in your eyes, I entice you…”
-Toya “I Do”


















